A man walks into a bar one afternoon and says to the manager, "I see your sign 'Piano player needed,' and I want you to know I'm your man.
I packed them in down there at the Cadillac Club until the IRS shut the place down.
Not only that, I write ALL my own material so you won't ever have to worry about paying royalties to ASCAP or BMI."
"You see the piano." said the manager, "Play me a tune."
The piano player rocked out with a boogie-woogie that had the manager stomping his feet.
"That was great," he said, "What do you call it?"
"I call it 'Let me Fuck you in the Ass Until your Hemorrhoids Bleed!'" said the pianist.
"Well," said the manager, "uh....that certainly is an unusual name for a song. Let's hear another one."
The piano player played a haunting melody that brought tears to the manager's eyes it was so beautiful. "What do you call that tune?" said the manager.
"I call it 'Open your Mouth Wide and Swallow it ALL When I Come.'" said the pianist.
The manager replied, "Your playing is great, and I'd like to hire you, but would you be terribly offended if I asked you not to announce the titles to your compositions?"
"Not at all," replied the pianist, "You pay, I'll play."
That evening, the crowd went wild when the piano player did his first set.
When they finally let him take a break, he rushed to the john for a long overdue piss.
On the way out, one of the patrons button-holed him and said, "Wow! you play great!! But tell me, do you know your fly's open and your penis is hanging out?"
"Know it? HELL...I wrote it!"