Piano Player - DFWstangs Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-23-2006, 01:34 PM Thread Starter
Time Served
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Oak Carrollton
Posts: 191
Piano Player

A man walks into a bar one afternoon and says to the manager, "I see your sign 'Piano player needed,' and I want you to know I'm your man.

I packed them in down there at the Cadillac Club until the IRS shut the place down.

Not only that, I write ALL my own material so you won't ever have to worry about paying royalties to ASCAP or BMI."

"You see the piano." said the manager, "Play me a tune."

The piano player rocked out with a boogie-woogie that had the manager stomping his feet.

"That was great," he said, "What do you call it?"

"I call it 'Let me Fuck you in the Ass Until your Hemorrhoids Bleed!'" said the pianist.

"Well," said the manager, "uh....that certainly is an unusual name for a song. Let's hear another one."

The piano player played a haunting melody that brought tears to the manager's eyes it was so beautiful. "What do you call that tune?" said the manager.

"I call it 'Open your Mouth Wide and Swallow it ALL When I Come.'" said the pianist.

The manager replied, "Your playing is great, and I'd like to hire you, but would you be terribly offended if I asked you not to announce the titles to your compositions?"

"Not at all," replied the pianist, "You pay, I'll play."

That evening, the crowd went wild when the piano player did his first set.

When they finally let him take a break, he rushed to the john for a long overdue piss.

On the way out, one of the patrons button-holed him and said, "Wow! you play great!! But tell me, do you know your fly's open and your penis is hanging out?"

"Know it? HELL...I wrote it!"
94JeepYJ is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-23-2006, 04:59 PM
yes, jluv
 
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 17,073
That's great!!!
jluv is offline  
post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-05-2006, 05:38 PM
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,577
I swear that was a skit from In Living Color
dankstang is offline  
 
post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-06-2006, 04:38 PM
#4 Best QB Ever
 
That_Is_My_El_Camino's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Land of the Free
Posts: 29,339
^^^ Doesn't get it ^^^

Haha!


Quote:
Originally Posted by DON SVO View Post
Women: vaginal life support.
That_Is_My_El_Camino is offline  
post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-06-2006, 06:02 PM
11-05-09
 
Osiris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Oh- sai- rus.
Posts: 21,428
Quote:
Originally Posted by That_Is_My_El_Camino
^^^ Doesn't get it ^^^

Haha!
LOL!
Osiris is offline  
post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-06-2006, 09:57 PM
Lifer
 
mustang87's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Somewhere in the past
Posts: 2,896
still funny

IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS ~ FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM.
IN GOD WE TRUST
mustang87 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome