Baked Beans - DFWstangs Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-25-2002, 03:45 PM Thread Starter
who cares
 
sassystang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: dfwmotorsports.net
Posts: 13,716
Talking Baked Beans

Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on."

So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home.

On her way she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted. And upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it.

Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned.

He then went to answer the phone.

The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage.

Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.

She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not.


At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!!

There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!!
sassystang is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-25-2002, 05:04 PM
Small Fry
 
breadfan35's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: The Keebler Tree
Posts: 10,287
Yeah, I'm not gonna read all that, I'll just take your word for it that it's funny. So, Haha.
breadfan35 is offline  
post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-25-2002, 06:41 PM
TMA
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 1,400
I wouldn't have been able to keep quiet, much less hang around with that going on!
TMA is offline  
 
post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-25-2002, 07:14 PM
MFFL!
 
mustang_marc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Carrollton
Posts: 15,423
Seen it before It would suck to be in that situation though!
mustang_marc is offline  
post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-25-2002, 09:52 PM
I can eat fifty eggs.
 
southrider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,366
i like this one every time i read hear it. hehe.

I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
southrider is offline  
post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-26-2002, 02:41 PM Thread Starter
who cares
 
sassystang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: dfwmotorsports.net
Posts: 13,716
Did yall see that comercial where this guy picks up his date opens her door for her and while he goes to his side,she lets one go. Then he gets in and introduces her to his friends sitting in the back!
sassystang is offline  
post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-26-2002, 03:54 PM
TMA
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 1,400
Quote:
Originally posted by sassystang
Did yall see that comercial where this guy picks up his date opens her door for her and while he goes to his side,she lets one go. Then he gets in and introduces her to his friends sitting in the back!
Yeah, I saw that commercial. It was "floating" around on the 'net not too long ago.
TMA is offline  
post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-01-2002, 07:40 AM
WTF is Zed?
 
UserX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: www.dfwmustangs.net
Posts: 10,374
hehe
UserX is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome