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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-07-2006, 08:06 AM Thread Starter
Gone but never forgotten
 
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The truth about porn

30 things men believe to be 'truth' about sex, from what they saw in porns....

my friend sent me this and I just fell out of my chair laughing...poor confused men LOL

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. Going down on a woman for 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she won't scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when splatted in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will get a woman out of a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy "fucks".

11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar
solo in the background.

13. A common & enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take
his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there are two of them they "high 5" each other. (And the
girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

18. If u come across a guy & his girlfriend having sex in the
bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best
friend, she'll only be pissed off for a second before fucking
both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him
to remind her to "suck it".

26. Assholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for
all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a
man's trousers and find a cock there.

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one
hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men." ~ Frederick Douglass
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-07-2006, 09:58 AM
 
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I wish these were true.
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-07-2006, 05:43 PM
Time Served
 
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thats awsome!

00 Dodge 2500 4x4
Cummins 5.9l 100hp injectors, 5" exhaust, custom converter and trans, smarty tuned, afe/k&n intake,
adj wastegate, fass pump
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-07-2006, 06:06 PM
Merry HoHo
 
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why is this in the joke forum?

.(OBAMA) One Big Ass Mistake America
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-07-2006, 06:09 PM
Ted
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The Truth about Porn By Mutherjuggz! That's great in and of itself!
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-07-2006, 07:23 PM
Hemi Hay Hauler
 
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Sounds like some pretty good porn you rented. What's the name?
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-08-2006, 08:34 AM
Lifer
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy
why is this in the joke forum?

Because CHRIS hasnt has the time to add the "PORN" forum to the list.
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-08-2006, 10:07 AM
Lifer
 
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ive alomst done half of those to ex gf

but she was a cheap ass tramp
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