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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-07-2006, 09:58 AM Thread Starter
SLOW
 
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Location: Dallas
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Urine testing

One day, in line at the cafeteria, Bob says to Stanley, "My elbow hurts like
crazy. I guess I'd better see a doctor." Listen, Bob, you don't have

to spend that kind of money," Stan replies. There's a diagnostic computer

down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you
what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten
dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Bob fills a small jar with his urine and takes it to Wal-Mart He deposits
ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He
pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer
ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and
avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Here is a doctors
certificate for your employer"

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bob began
wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water,a urine
sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and some
water out of his favorite fishing hole, just for good measure.

He then went back to Wal-Mart, eager to test the computer. He deposits ten
dollars, pours in his concoction, and waits. In ten seconds the computer
prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop fishing, your elbow will never get better.

And as always ... Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.

Mustang Sally aint got shit on me!!!

2003 Mustang GT
2007 Black & Blue GSXR 600


http://www.myspace.com/aprils_stangpage
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-07-2006, 10:06 AM
Lifer
 
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Lol!
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-07-2006, 10:27 AM
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pretty funny

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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-07-2006, 01:08 PM
Merry HoHo
 
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so how did the freak get urine from his daughter, maybe somebody should call the CPS.

.(OBAMA) One Big Ass Mistake America
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-10-2006, 09:02 AM Thread Starter
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Posts: 3,199
Quote:
Originally Posted by SNEAKY
so how did the freak get urine from his daughter, maybe somebody should call the CPS.

haha!! You're right, that is sick!!

Mustang Sally aint got shit on me!!!

2003 Mustang GT
2007 Black & Blue GSXR 600


http://www.myspace.com/aprils_stangpage
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-10-2006, 09:44 AM
Lifer
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HerBlownSnake
haha!! You're right, that is sick!!


It's your joke.












jk
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-10-2006, 04:54 PM
T5-T56-Tremec specialist
 
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Little different version but still funny .......
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