exercising - DFWstangs Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-20-2006, 11:20 AM Thread Starter
SLOW
 
HerBlownSnake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Dallas
Posts: 3,199
exercising

My kind of Doctor !

I DON'T KNOW WHAT DOCTOR WROTE THIS, BUT I LIKE HIM!

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.




Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.



Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!



Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.



Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is simply this: No Pain? No Pain!?... and that's a good thing!



Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?



Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.



Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!



Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.



Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!


Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about
food and diets.

And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"

Mustang Sally aint got shit on me!!!

2003 Mustang GT
2007 Black & Blue GSXR 600


http://www.myspace.com/aprils_stangpage
HerBlownSnake is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-23-2006, 04:25 PM
Lifer
 
badass88gt's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: BERMUDA TRIANGLE
Posts: 1,752
i liked it too

why are divorces so expensive,,, because they are worth it, words to remeber by Willie NelsoN


89 gt, 351W TWO STAGES
2003 expedition wife's ride

9[IMG]
badass88gt is offline  
post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-24-2006, 05:15 PM
T5-T56-Tremec specialist
 
thesource's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Heading back to Plentywood
Posts: 8,389
Kind of makes sense , too bad it doesn't work that way . We'd all be in tip top shape .
thesource is offline  
 
post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-24-2006, 05:27 PM
Getting Out Of The Game
 
A BLACK MAN'S COUPE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: G-TOWN
Posts: 3,118
lol
A BLACK MAN'S COUPE is offline  
post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-26-2006, 08:00 PM
Lifer
 
krazyh0rse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,105
Quote:
Originally Posted by thesource
Kind of makes sense , too bad it doesn't work that way . We'd all be in tip top shape .

damned skippy

93 coupe 351/t56


In the words of President Teddy Roosevelt, " We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language... and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."


ive never been good at keeping directions i believe schedules are one of lifes worst infections


WELCOME TO TENNESSEE THE PATRON STATE OF SHOOTIN STUFF
krazyh0rse is offline  
post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-26-2006, 08:11 PM
taco dealer
 
midniteblue5.0's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,429
lmao!!!!
midniteblue5.0 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome