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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-02-2006, 08:37 AM Thread Starter
Recovering Lush
 
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Book Report

Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories:

Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bulls**t artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica...well, let's not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary...basically the same thing.

His professor gave him an A+.

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Quote:
"The Father-heart of God was... thrilled with me -- an immature, mess-making spiritual infant... My heavenly Father was enjoying me while I was yet in the process of maturing, not sighing in disgust and waiting impatiently until I grew up. He loved and longed for me; He felt proud and was excited over me while I was falling short."
Quote:
Mike Bickle

[



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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-02-2006, 10:48 AM
Lifer
 
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lol
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-03-2006, 10:37 AM
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Pretty funny!

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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-03-2006, 10:47 AM
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LMAO! Thats one of the funniest things I've read in a long time!
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