Why I fired my secretary!
Two weeks ago was my 35th birthday, and I wasn't
feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday," and probably have a present for me.
She didn't even say "Good Morning," let alone any
"Happy Birthday." I thought, "Well, that's wives for you, the children will remember." The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet,
said, "Good morning, boss. Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better; someone had remembered. I worked until noon. Then, Janet knocked on my door and said
"You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've
heard all day. Let's go."
We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally
go; we went out to the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch
tremendously. On the way back to the office, she
said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not."
She said, "Let's go to my apartment." After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I
think I'll go change."
"Sure," I excitedly replied. She went into the
bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out
carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife,
children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.
And there I sat...on the
couch. . .naked.