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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-04-2005, 08:45 AM Thread Starter
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Why Athletes can't get real jobs

Why Athletes can't get real jobs

Why Athletes can't get real jobs:

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan'

alldem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to

copulate me."


New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:

"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."


And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own

mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win,

I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."


Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:

"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."


Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in

football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman



Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to

graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)


Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up

alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three,

then line up in a circle."


Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter

Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter! ? He went to

prison for three years, not Princeton."


Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawk's left wing, explaining why he keeps a

color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to

spell my name, I can still find my clothes."


Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of

heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the

morning regardless of what time it is."


Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to

Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's

expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an

aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)


Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him,

'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach,

I don't know and I don't care.'"


Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a

player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're

spending too much time on one subject."


Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob

Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded:

"Because she is too ugly to kiss good-by.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-04-2005, 09:34 AM
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Originally Posted by DON SVO View Post
Women: vaginal life support.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-04-2005, 09:56 AM
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-04-2005, 07:35 PM
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roflmao!! That just about says it all.

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