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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 01-24-2005, 01:49 PM Thread Starter
Time Served
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 299
Now Something To Offend Everyone!

> >What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

> >Juan on Juan

> >

> >What is a Yankee?

> >The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

> >

> >What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?

> >The position of the dirt bag

> >

> >Why is divorce so expensive?

> >Because it's worth it.

> >

> >What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

> >Doughnuts?

> >

> >Why is air a lot like sex?

> >Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any

> >

> >What do you call a smart blonde?

> >A golden retriever.

> >

> >What do attorneys use for birth control?

> >Their personalities.

> >

> >What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

> >45 lbs

> >

> >What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

> >45 minutes

> >

> >What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

> >Through his chest with a sharp knife.

> >

> >Why do men want to marry virgins?

> >They can't stand criticism.

> >

> >Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and

> >good-looking?

> >Because those men already have boyfriends.

> >

> >What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

> >After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

> >

> >What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

> >The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

> >

> >Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?

> >Because they have cotton balls.

> >

> >What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?

> >A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

> >

> >What did the blonde say when she found out sh e was pregnant?

> >"Are you sure it's mine?"

> >

> >Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

> >Mace will do that to you.

> >

> >Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?

> >Everyone has the same DNA.

> >

> >Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

> >Breasts don't have eyes.

> >

> >Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?

> >He walks around saying "Yo."

> >

> >Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on

> >Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

> >Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

> >

> >Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

> >A different bar.

> >

> >Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?

> >They named him "Sum Ting Wong

> >

> >What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

> >A speech impediment

> >

> >What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?

> >They're hiring.

> >

> >What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

> >A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage

> >along with... "a recipe".

> >

> >

> >How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?

> >Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

> >

> >What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern

> >fairytale?

> >A northern fairytale begins " Onceuponatime..." A southern fairytale begins

> >"Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

> >Why is there no Disneyland in China ?

> >No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

magnaflow cat. x-pipe
magnaflow cat back
pro 5.0 shifter
fms 3.73
fms alum driveshaft
C&L upper plenium
saleen 18x9, 18x10

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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 01-24-2005, 01:50 PM
Blue5spd's a titty baby
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: hair club for men
Posts: 13,472

68 Cougar "Calypso Coupe" - 1 of 28 made.
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