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post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-13-2004, 08:21 AM Thread Starter
 
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Military Jokes

Why does the Navy have Marines on their ships?















Sheep are to obvious
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post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-13-2004, 08:22 AM Thread Starter
 
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"A Marine company is walking down a street and a squad leader yells out that "There's a Ranger in the way." An officer sends the squad to kill the Ranger. The Ranger runs down into a ridge and and the squad follows. The officer hears screaming, then he see's the Ranger pop out and brush himself off with only dust on himself. Seeing this the officer sends a Platoon to kill the Ranger. Once again he runs down into the ridge and reappeers after more screaming. The officer getting frustrated sends in all but the 2nd in command to kill the Ranger. once again the Ranger runs into the ridge and then a Marine comes out screeming and bloodied, the officers ask what happend. Then the Marine replys, "ITS A TRICK THERES TWO OF THEM!!!!!""
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post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-13-2004, 08:25 AM Thread Starter
 
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Why did God give Marines more brains than a horse...?
So they could have a parade in D.C. without shitting on the street..
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post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-13-2004, 10:20 AM Thread Starter
 
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A sailor dressed in his dress whites was in an airport waiting for a flight when a little boy came running up. "Mister, wow! Can I wear your hat?" So the sailor lets the little boy run around, wearing his white sailor hat.

Just then, the little boy sees an Army Ranger in dress greens walk in the terminal. Still wearing the sailor's hat, the boy runs up to the Ranger. "Mister, can I wear your beret?"

The Ranger looks down at him and growls, "Suck my dick!" and turns to walk off.

"Oh, no, sir," says the little boy, "I'm not a sailor! I'm just wearing his hat!"
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post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-13-2004, 03:00 PM
who cares
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 11B2V_Mike
A sailor dressed in his dress whites was in an airport waiting for a flight when a little boy came running up. "Mister, wow! Can I wear your hat?" So the sailor lets the little boy run around, wearing his white sailor hat.

Just then, the little boy sees an Army Ranger in dress greens walk in the terminal. Still wearing the sailor's hat, the boy runs up to the Ranger. "Mister, can I wear your beret?"

The Ranger looks down at him and growls, "Suck my dick!" and turns to walk off.

"Oh, no, sir," says the little boy, "I'm not a sailor! I'm just wearing his hat!"

LOL,
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post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-13-2004, 03:36 PM
 
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Lmgdao
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post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-13-2004, 07:51 PM
My sh*t don't stink
 
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Lmao

Wag more, Bark less.
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post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-14-2004, 11:28 AM
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Lmao

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post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-14-2004, 01:54 PM
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Thumbs down

For some reason, I don't find these amusing....

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post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-14-2004, 02:27 PM
not exclude
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tommy Tutone
For some reason, I don't find these amusing....
I liked the first two, not so much for the last two.
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post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-14-2004, 02:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by exlude
I liked the first two, not so much for the last two.

I just don't get the first one and, why would marines be attempting to kill a ranger? I heard the better form of that same joke with Santana and two Texans at the Alamo. Much better...

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post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-14-2004, 02:49 PM
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I just don't get the first one and, why would marines be attempting to kill a ranger? I heard the better form of that same joke with Santana and two Texans at the Alamo. Much better...
And why why would a serviceman tell a little kid to "suck his dick"? You know, the more I think about it, the worse these jokes suck.

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post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-14-2004, 02:59 PM Thread Starter
 
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don't take the jokes literally for a start . most veterans should get the drift of the jokes.

feel free to add yalls own
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post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-17-2004, 08:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tommy Tutone
I just don't get the first one and, why would marines be attempting to kill a ranger? I heard the better form of that same joke with Santana and two Texans at the Alamo. Much better...

santana was at the alamo ???
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post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-17-2004, 08:21 PM
duh...duh....duh
 
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You have to understand the rivalry? between all the services. Specifically the Marines and everyone else, but the Army in particular.

It is mostly friendly, but sometimes people get really pissed off over it. When it comes time to get it done, everyone is on the same team though.

The Navy guys here where I work did not find the sheep joke too funny though? Better watch my ass.

My '03 Sold.
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post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-19-2004, 01:52 PM Thread Starter
 
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lol, yep... it's all in good fun.
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post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-20-2004, 08:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TonyMCev
santana was at the alamo ???
Where do you think all the suspenseful, background music was coming from. He is old you know.

Santa Anna....

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post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 12-20-2004, 08:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 11B2V_Mike
don't take the jokes literally for a start . most veterans should get the drift of the jokes.

feel free to add yalls own
I thought they all were pretty damn funny!

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