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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-16-2004, 03:08 PM Thread Starter
 
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Men's Rules!

The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all
down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear"the rules"
from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note...these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it
down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes! and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after7
days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

1. Whenever possible,
please say whatever you have to say during
comme! rcials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and
neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin
is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear
is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are
prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the
shotgun formation,
or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like
camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh!!
Tweakd is offline  
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-16-2004, 03:14 PM
Lifer
 
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Awesome just awesome
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-16-2004, 05:02 PM
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweakd
The Guys' Rules
1. Crying is blackmail.


1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!


1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
my 3 favorites
89bossgt is offline  
 
post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-17-2004, 09:10 AM
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 158
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweakd

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
we meant the other one.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the
shotgun formation,
or monster trucks.
These are the best!
blkonblk96cobra is offline  
post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-18-2004, 02:38 PM
insert something aqui
 
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Location: grand prairie
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greatness who ever came up with these rules, or the one who had the balls to write them thank you

1991 lx 5.0

lil ol 302

Back In The Jackstand Racing Crew!
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-18-2004, 05:48 PM
 
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Posts: 306
LMAO

I love it!
GuessWho??? is offline  
post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-18-2004, 06:52 PM
Getting Out Of The Game
 
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-18-2004, 10:17 PM
 
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Thumbs up

LOL I'm going to print that out and put it on the fridge
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-19-2004, 11:30 AM
Time Served
 
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Location: Mansfield, Texas
Posts: 727
damn

I agree with BLk on BLK 96 but all of those apply And yes I'm married and I should know...BN
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-22-2004, 09:33 AM
 
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Those are harsh
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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-22-2004, 09:40 AM
 
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Greatness
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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-25-2004, 11:06 PM
Bored
 
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Location: Idaho
Posts: 1,613
Those are great, i really like the one about the victoria secret one, but lets face it, some women should not dress like that.

02 GT BBK Longtubes, BBK O/R H-pipe, bassani mufflers and tips, CAI, 3:73 gears, accufab tb and plenum, spec stage 1 clutch, mgw short throw shifter, F1 racing fly wheel, Deep dish bullits, eibach pro kit, kyb shocks and struts, upr sub frame connectors

Fit to Fight, Fight to Win, Honor, Valor, Excellence!!!
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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-28-2004, 02:40 AM
 
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Posts: 711
very funny! Im glad someone finally wrote them all down and compiled a list of them.
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