Aggie Jokes - DFWstangs Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-11-2004, 01:14 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,187
Aggie Jokes

Okay, I'll tell the first. It can only go up from here.

An Aggie walks into a pizza joint and orders and extra large pizza. The guy behind the counter asks, "do you want this sliced in eight or twelve pieces?"

The Ag thinks a minute and says, "Better make it eight. I don't think I can eat twelve.
Danny is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-11-2004, 09:27 PM
Time Served
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Virginia Beach VA
Posts: 915
How many aggies does it take to milk a cow?

13, one to hold the utter, and twelve to lift the cow up and down!
SlowYellow is offline  
post #3 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-11-2004, 09:48 PM
My sh*t don't stink
 
Old Fart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Trying to figure it out...
Posts: 1,561
How many aggies does it take to screw in a light bulb?


12....1 to hold the bulb, and 11 to drink till the room starts spinning.

Wag more, Bark less.
Old Fart is offline  
 
post #4 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-12-2004, 03:00 PM
UFO Club Member
 
must"have"ang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Saginasty
Posts: 1,527
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danny
Okay, I'll tell the first. It can only go up from here.

An Aggie walks into a pizza joint and orders and extra large pizza. The guy behind the counter asks, "do you want this sliced in eight or twelve pieces?"

The Ag thinks a minute and says, "Better make it eight. I don't think I can eat twelve.


HAHAHAHA..........thats great.....sent to my aggie friend WHOOOP!!!
must"have"ang is offline  
post #5 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-13-2004, 08:38 PM
Getting Out Of The Game
 
A BLACK MAN'S COUPE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: G-TOWN
Posts: 3,118
lol
A BLACK MAN'S COUPE is offline  
post #6 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-16-2004, 03:21 PM
Psycho Pilot Racing
 
cobra93teal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Arlington Tx
Posts: 1,502
my girlfrien is an aggie

**Disclaimer: Opinions cited by me are not necessarily my opinions.
Facts cited by me are not necessarily facts.
cobra93teal is offline  
post #7 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-16-2004, 03:22 PM
Time Served
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Southlake
Posts: 933
im an aggie and ive heard better . . . lame . . . that is all
Last5oh is offline  
post #8 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-16-2004, 03:26 PM
Lifer
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Wichita Kansas
Posts: 1,507
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Fart
How many Longhorns does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only 1 but he gets 3 credits!!!
shrp88lx's is offline  
post #9 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-16-2004, 03:45 PM
Time Served
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Odessa, TX
Posts: 571
An aggie and his friend are walking down the street to a Metallica Concert. The aggie is complaining cause he's got to take a crap and they have no toilet paper or a store to go to. Eventually the aggie cant take it anymore and his friend asks if he has a dollar. The aggie responds"Well, yeeh". His friend tells him."Then use that". After going into the bushes the aggie comes out with shit all over his hands and arms. His friend asked what happened and he responded"Do you know how hard it is to wipe your ass with four quaters!?"
tac1987 is offline  
post #10 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-16-2004, 03:54 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,187
Quote:
Originally Posted by Last5oh
im an aggie and ive heard better . . . lame . . . that is all
Well I'm an Aggie too and I started the thread, so why don't you do better than me and post up a good one?
Danny is offline  
post #11 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-16-2004, 05:42 PM
Time Served
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Southlake
Posts: 933
Why do Aggies hate M&Ms?
They're too hard to peel.

Did you hear about the aggie that got locked out of his car?
He spent two hours trying to get his wife and kids out!

A Florida State student, a Kansas State student, and an Aggie had all
commited horrendous crimes and were going to be shot. The FSU guy was brought up and blindfolded. The general shouted, "Ready ....... aim..." and the FSU guy yelled, "Huricane!!," everybody ducked, and he ran away free.
Dismayed at losing their first prisioner, the guards brought up the KSU student with renewed vengence. They blindfolded him and the general commanded, "Ready......aim....." and the KSU guy shouted, "Tornado!!" and fearing for their lives, everybody ducked, and he ran away free.
Well, the Aggie has been watching all this and starts thinking, "They all yelled natural disasters and they got away, so I will too." So they brought him up and blinded folded him, the general shouted, "Ready ...... aim...." and the Aggie screamed, "Fire!!"

Two normal guys and an Aggie decide to go to the desert. They each bring one thing.
The first guy brings water so they don't dehydrate.
The second guy brings food so they don't starve to death.
The Aggie says, "I brought a car door so if it gets hot, I can just roll down the window!"

How many Aggies does it take to eat an armadillo?
Three. One to do the eating, and two to watch for cars.

How can you tell when an Aggie sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

Why does the stadium at College Station have Astroturf?
To keep the cheerleaders from grazing during halftime.

Two Aggies are driving to Houston. The driver suspects his turn signals aren't working. So he pulls over and asks his passenger to get out and check. So the guy checks and yells to the driver, "No, they're not working. Wait, yes they are. No, they're not. Hold it, yes, they are."

****that should do . . . . I'm done slandering myself and my school for now
Last5oh is offline  
post #12 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-16-2004, 09:26 PM
Getting Out Of The Game
 
A BLACK MAN'S COUPE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: G-TOWN
Posts: 3,118
A BLACK MAN'S COUPE is offline  
post #13 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-17-2004, 09:06 AM
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 158
haha good stuff
blkonblk96cobra is offline  
post #14 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-19-2004, 11:01 PM
Recovering Lush
 
HookEm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Saginaw, TX
Posts: 10,011
Aggy, Horn, and Sooner are stuck on a deserted island.
Years pass, and the trio stumble upon a magic lamp.
They rub the lamp, and a genie appears, offering them three wishes.
Horn says.....get my ass to Sixth Stret PRONTO...poof, off he goes.
Sooner says, get me back to Norman..poof, off he goes.
Aggy tears up, looks at the genie and says...
MAn I miss those guys. I wish they were back already........

color=#606060]
Quote:
"The Father-heart of God was... thrilled with me -- an immature, mess-making spiritual infant... My heavenly Father was enjoying me while I was yet in the process of maturing, not sighing in disgust and waiting impatiently until I grew up. He loved and longed for me; He felt proud and was excited over me while I was falling short."
Quote:
Mike Bickle

[



Sober By Grace Ministries: A Ministry of The James 2:26 Project
[size=1]Where New Beginnings Start
www.soberbygrace.org
HookEm is offline  
post #15 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-19-2004, 11:38 PM
Time Served
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Houston
Posts: 989
Quote:
Originally Posted by Last5oh
How can you tell when an Aggie sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
LOL!

03 ProCharged Z06 - 706rwhp
Spritle is offline  
post #16 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-22-2004, 12:43 PM
Time Served
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 360
Two aggies walk into a bar
you think the second one woulda ducked
bulldog896 is offline  
post #17 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-23-2004, 06:21 AM
Recovering Lush
 
HookEm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Saginaw, TX
Posts: 10,011
Real life Aggy nonsense:


A recent post on texags.com, was for someone to send said poster.......

a file with an upside down Longhorn/Hook Em hand, for printing reasons. I reckon printing it and turning it upside down would be too much to ask of aggy.

I think they deleted it, but I'll see if I can find it.

Poor aggy.

color=#606060]
Quote:
"The Father-heart of God was... thrilled with me -- an immature, mess-making spiritual infant... My heavenly Father was enjoying me while I was yet in the process of maturing, not sighing in disgust and waiting impatiently until I grew up. He loved and longed for me; He felt proud and was excited over me while I was falling short."
Quote:
Mike Bickle

[



Sober By Grace Ministries: A Ministry of The James 2:26 Project
[size=1]Where New Beginnings Start
www.soberbygrace.org
HookEm is offline  
post #18 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-23-2004, 09:18 AM
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,113
ha ha those are great!
03ghost is offline  
post #19 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-23-2004, 10:41 AM
Time Served
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 796
Quote:
Originally Posted by Last5oh
Why does the stadium at College Station have Astroturf?
To keep the cheerleaders from grazing during halftime.
That one doesn't even make sense. TAMU doesn't even have cheerleaders.
BlackCrow is offline  
post #20 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-23-2004, 10:51 AM
Never settle always excel
 
Pro Trash's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Dallas Area, Texas
Posts: 5,268
A Texas Aggie and a Texas Longhorn are sitting next to each other on a long flight from TX to NY. The Longhorn leans over to the Aggie and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Aggie just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The Longhorn persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotof fun. He explains

"I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5."

Again, the Aggie politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Longhorn now somewhat agitated, says,

"OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"

This catches the Aggie's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Longhorn asks the first question.

"What's the distance from Earth to Neptune?"

The Aggie doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Longhorn.

Now, it's the Aggie's turn. He asks the Longhorn

"What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?"

The Longhorn looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his one friend in life -- all to no avail.

After about an hour, he wakes the Aggie and hands him $50. The Aggie politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.

The Longhorn more than a little miffed, shakes the Aggie and asks

"Well, so what's the answer?"

....without a word, the Aggie reaches into his wallet, hands the Longhorn $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.
Pro Trash is offline  
post #21 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-24-2004, 02:31 AM
Large Member
 
Mr. Smith's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Terrell
Posts: 2,330
How do you get a one armed Aggie out of a tree?


Wave at him.


Stupid but still funny.
Mr. Smith is offline  
post #22 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-24-2004, 09:40 AM
Time Served
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Southlake
Posts: 933
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2k2GT
How do you get a one armed Aggie out of a tree?


Wave at him.


Stupid but still funny.
If I'm not mistaken . . . that is a blonde joke you just changed
Last5oh is offline  
post #23 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-24-2004, 02:49 PM
AHMO!
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: the original let me google that for ya guy
Posts: 16,810
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pro Trash
A Texas Aggie and a Texas Longhorn are sitting next to each other on a long flight from TX to NY. The Longhorn leans over to the Aggie and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Aggie just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The Longhorn persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotof fun. He explains

"I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5."

Again, the Aggie politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Longhorn now somewhat agitated, says,

"OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"

This catches the Aggie's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Longhorn asks the first question.

"What's the distance from Earth to Neptune?"

The Aggie doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Longhorn.

Now, it's the Aggie's turn. He asks the Longhorn

"What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?"

The Longhorn looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his one friend in life -- all to no avail.

After about an hour, he wakes the Aggie and hands him $50. The Aggie politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.

The Longhorn more than a little miffed, shakes the Aggie and asks

"Well, so what's the answer?"

....without a word, the Aggie reaches into his wallet, hands the Longhorn $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.
even though you could change the horn with the aggie (much like any of these jokes including the blonde ones) that is pretty damn funny travis.
Nate is offline  
post #24 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-24-2004, 08:04 PM
Large Member
 
Mr. Smith's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Terrell
Posts: 2,330
Quote:
Originally Posted by Last5oh
If I'm not mistaken . . . that is a blonde joke you just changed
If I'm not mistaken......... Any of these jokes can go either way.
Mr. Smith is offline  
post #25 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-27-2004, 09:51 PM
Recovering Lush
 
HookEm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Saginaw, TX
Posts: 10,011
What's a Texas Aggie?
There are Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech Red Raiders, etc, etc, but there is no such thing as a Texas Aggie...that's like calling UNT the Texas Mean Green, or SMU the Texas Mustangs.
Outside of the whole "Texas Aggie" not existing qualm, pretty funny.....


Quote:
Originally Posted by Pro Trash
A Texas Aggie and a Texas Longhorn are sitting next to each other on a long flight from TX to NY. The Longhorn leans over to the Aggie and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Aggie just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The Longhorn persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotof fun. He explains

"I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5."

Again, the Aggie politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Longhorn now somewhat agitated, says,

"OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"

This catches the Aggie's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Longhorn asks the first question.

"What's the distance from Earth to Neptune?"

The Aggie doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Longhorn.

Now, it's the Aggie's turn. He asks the Longhorn

"What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?"

The Longhorn looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his one friend in life -- all to no avail.

After about an hour, he wakes the Aggie and hands him $50. The Aggie politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.

The Longhorn more than a little miffed, shakes the Aggie and asks

"Well, so what's the answer?"

....without a word, the Aggie reaches into his wallet, hands the Longhorn $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.

color=#606060]
Quote:
"The Father-heart of God was... thrilled with me -- an immature, mess-making spiritual infant... My heavenly Father was enjoying me while I was yet in the process of maturing, not sighing in disgust and waiting impatiently until I grew up. He loved and longed for me; He felt proud and was excited over me while I was falling short."
Quote:
Mike Bickle

[



Sober By Grace Ministries: A Ministry of The James 2:26 Project
[size=1]Where New Beginnings Start
www.soberbygrace.org
HookEm is offline  
post #26 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-28-2004, 02:29 AM
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 711
Quote:
Originally Posted by HookEm
What's a Texas Aggie?
There are Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech Red Raiders, etc, etc, but there is no such thing as a Texas Aggie...that's like calling UNT the Texas Mean Green, or SMU the Texas Mustangs.
Outside of the whole "Texas Aggie" not existing qualm, pretty funny.....

i figured someone would go there... its just a reference name. duh!

i love the one about the $50.
88LX50 is offline  
post #27 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-28-2004, 02:31 AM
Recovering Lush
 
HookEm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Saginaw, TX
Posts: 10,011
Quote:
Originally Posted by 88LX50
i figured someone would go there... its just a reference name. duh!

i love the one about the $50.
Just stirring man....13 hrs is a loooooooooooooooooooong shift.

color=#606060]
Quote:
"The Father-heart of God was... thrilled with me -- an immature, mess-making spiritual infant... My heavenly Father was enjoying me while I was yet in the process of maturing, not sighing in disgust and waiting impatiently until I grew up. He loved and longed for me; He felt proud and was excited over me while I was falling short."
Quote:
Mike Bickle

[



Sober By Grace Ministries: A Ministry of The James 2:26 Project
[size=1]Where New Beginnings Start
www.soberbygrace.org
HookEm is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome