The Cowboy and the Democrat - DFWstangs Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 10-28-2004, 04:08 PM Thread Starter
BELIEVE, IT'S TIME!!!!
 
Who Needs 8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: A little here, a little there . . .
Posts: 14,997
The Cowboy and the Democrat

A cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a
brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in
a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses, and YSL tie, leans out the
window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and
calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects
it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he
calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location
which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an
ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo
in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in
Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the
image has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel
spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formula. He uploads all of this data
via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a
respons! e. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his
hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy
and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the
cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on
amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly
what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a democrat consultant" says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required" answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to
a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my business..........

Now give me back my dog...

"The Pill": Helping control the Educated Population since 1960


Improve America's Education System: Have the High School Drop Outs Spayed and Neutered.


Stupid and Lazy breeds more Stupid and Lazy.


"Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time." - Sir Winston Churchill


The DFWStangs Political Forum: Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Who Needs 8 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 10-28-2004, 05:12 PM
Time Served
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: MESQUITE
Posts: 259
Thumbs up

true that! lmao

http://www.myspace.com/foxracin29
FOXRACIN is offline  
post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 10-28-2004, 05:38 PM
My sh*t don't stink
 
Old Fart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Trying to figure it out...
Posts: 1,561
Lmao

Wag more, Bark less.
Old Fart is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome