LOOOONG Post. You've been warned - DFWstangs Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-17-2001, 06:24 PM Thread Starter
'03 Racer
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,102
LOOOONG Post. You've been warned

Your mama is so poor, you ask whats for dinner and she puts her feet on the
table and says "corn."
Your mama is so lame, she dj's for an ice cream truck.
Your mama has more extensions then AT&T!
Your mama is such a whore, she has given more feel ups than Texaco.
Your mama is such a slut, she's been filled in more than an application
form.
Your mama's hair is so nappy, Moses couldn't part it.
Your mama is so hairy, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
Your mama is so hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her.
Your mama is so hairy, she looks like a Chia pet with a sweater on.
Your mama is so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth.
Your mama is so hairy, she shaves with a weedwacker.
Your mama is so hairy, she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.
Your mama is so fat, instead of wearing Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levis
1002's.
Your mama is so fat, she was floating in the ocean, and Spain claimed her as
a new world.
Your mama is so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.
Your mama is so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run
for the border.
Your mama is so ugly, rice crispies won't even talk to her.
Your mama is so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells
her to get out.
Your mama is so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted
to makeup her mind.
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo.
Your mama is so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
Your mama is like Chinese food...sweet, sour, and cheap.
Your mama is like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents
you can get a slurpy.
Your mama is like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.
Your mama is like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter,
and guys go in and out all day.
Your mama is like a 747, she has a very large cockpit.
Your mama is like a microwave, one button and she's hot.
Your mama is like speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her
up, down, on, and off.
Your mama is like a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.
Your mama is like an aircraft carrier, has a flat top, a big bottom, cruises
up and down the coast, and picks up 100 sailors in every port.
Your mama is like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
Your mama is like Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.
Your mama is like Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.
Your mama is like Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.
Your mama is like a gas station...you gotta pay before you pump.
Your mama is like a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.
Your mama is like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her
away.
Your mama is like a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.
Your mama is like the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her
everyday.
Your mama is like an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.
Your mama is like mustard, she spreads easy.
Your mama is like the Pillsbury dough boy... everybody pokes her.
I saved your mama's life today... I killed a shit-eating dog on the way
over.
Your mama is so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her
good side.
Your mama is so fat, she's 36-24-36... but thats her forearm, neck, and
thigh!
Your mama is so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on
the other side to get her through.
Your mama is so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip.
Your mama is so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.
Your mama is so fat, when she works at the movie theater, she works as the
screen.
Your mama is so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... t the
radio station.
Your mama is so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of
the milk carton.
Your mama is so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.
Your mama is so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
Your mama is so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a
contractor.
Your mama is so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back
in bed.
Your mama is so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease,
the doctor gave her 5 years to live.
Your mama is so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Your mama is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin.
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights
went on.
Your mama is so fat, they used her for a trampoline at the Olympics.
Your mama is so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon.
Your mama is like a package of batteries, Ever Ready!
Your mama is so fat, she's got more rolls than a bakery.
Your mama is so fat, she looks like the michellin man.
Your mama is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.
Your mama is so fat, she makes FreeWilly look like a tic-tac.
Your mama is so fat, she got a glass leg and filled it with kool-aid.
Your mama is so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook.
Your mama is so fat,you put 4 qurters in her ear & a bag of Doritos pop out.
Your mama is so fat, she uses a VCR as a Beeper.
Your mama is so fat, she walked in front of the TV and we missed 2 episodes
of "Friends."
Your mama is so fat, when she wears a Malcome X T-Shirt Helicoptors try to
land on her.
Your mama is so fat, after she gets through turning around, they throw her a
welcome back party.
Your mama is so fat, she don't take pictures, she takes posters.
Your mama is so fat, she wipes her ass with a mattress.
Your mama is so fat, her picture weighs ten pounds.
Your mama is so fat, she could sell shade.
Your mama is so fat, after sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.
Your Mama is so ugly, when she tried to work a street corner Johns paid her
to leave.
Your Mama is so ugly, she walks down the street and gets aressted for
attempted murder.
Your Mama is so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run
for the border.
Your Mama is so ugly, it looks like her neck threw up.
Your Mama is so ugly, she went into a haunted house and came out with a job
Application.
Your Mama is so ugly, when she walks by the bathroom the toilet flushes.
Your Mama smells so bad, she makes the RIGHT GAURD turn left.
Your Mama smells so bad, speed stick slowed down.
Your Mama smells so bad, secret told on her.
Your Mama is so skanky, she worked at a sperm bank and got fired for
drinking on the job.
Your Mama is so skanky, she keeps ice between her legs to keep the crabs
fresh.
Your mama is so stupid, I put a Scratch-N'-Sniff sticker on the bottom of
the pool and she drowned.
Your mama is so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted
to makeup her mind.
Your mama is so stupid, she failed a survey.
Your mama is so stupid, she gave birth to you.
Your mama is so stupid, she needs twice as much sense to be a half-wit.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought 2PAC Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
Your mama is so stupid, she saw a billboard that said "Dodge Trucks" and she
started ducking through traffic.
Your mama is so stupid, she peals M&M's to make chocolate chip cookies.
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo.
Your mama is so stupid, when they said they were playing craps she went and
got toilet paper.
Your mama is so stupid, they had to burn the school down to get her out of
3rd grade.
Your mama is so stupid, she tried to mail a letter with food stamps.
Your mama is so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told the police that she
got mugged.
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks socialism means partying!
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks stereotype is the brand on her
clock-radio.
Your mama is so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed.
Your mama is so stupid, when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview
mirror, she turned around.
Your mama is so stupid, when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the
home, she moved.
Your mama is so stupid, she got fired from a blow-job.
Your mama is so stupid, she used a vibrator for an egg beater.
Your mama is so stupid, she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on
her foot.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought Thiland was a men's clothing store.
Your mama is so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away
all the W's.
Your mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.
Your mama's breath is so stank, we don't know whether she needs gum or
toilet paper.
Your mama's breath is so stank, when she exhales her teeth have to duck.
Your mama's butt is so big, it looks like 2 pigs fighting over milk duds.
Your mama's feet so big, her sneakers need license plates.
Your mama's ass is so big, its got more crack than Mayor Marion Barry.
Your mama's ass is so big, she bent over and got arrested for selling crack.
Your mama's mouth is so big, she speaks in surround sound.
Your mama's hair is so nappy, even Moses couldn't part it.
Your mama's head is so big, when she tries to tie her shoes, the bitch flips
over.
Your mama's head is so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on.
Your mama's head is so small, she got her ears pierced and died.
Your mama's lips are so big, that ChapStick had to invent a spray.
Your mama is so horny, she puts a dollar over her head and says "All you can
eat, under a dollar!"
Your mama is so horny, she maintains a personal relationship with the
Energizer bunny.
Your mama's tits are so small, she had to tatoo "front" on her chest.
Your mama is like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.
Your mama is like Burger King... Your way, right away.
Your mama is like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents
you can get a slurpy.
Your mama is like Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets
dumped.
Your mama is like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.
Your mama is like a nickel, she ain't worth a dime.
Your mama is like a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.
Your mama is like a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day.
Your mama is like a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any
street corner.
Your mama is like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter,
and guys go in and out all day.
Your mama is like a library, open to the public.
Your mama is like a Chinese restaurant, $4.95 all you can eat.
Your mama is like an ATM, open 24 hours.
Your mama is like Discover card, she gives cash back.
Your mama is like a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.
Your mama is like a microwave, one button and she's hot.
Your mama is like speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her
up, down, on, and off.
Your mama is like a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.
Your mama is like a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff.
Your mama is like cheap liquor, tastes like shit.
Your mama is like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
Your mama is like Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.
Your mama is like Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.
Your mama is like Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.
Your mama is like Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.
Your mama is like a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail.
Your mama is like a gas station... you gotta pay before you pump.
Your mama is like a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.
Your mama is like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her
away.
Your mama is like a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.
Your mama is like a race car driver... she burns a lot of rubbers.
Your mama is like a 5 foot tall basketball hoop, it ain't that hard to
score.
Your mama is like the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her
everyday.
Your mama is like cake mix, 15 servings per package!
Your mama is like an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.
Your mama is like a window, always open.
Your mama is like Denny's... open 24 hours.
Your mama is like McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.
Your mama is like McDonalds... What you want is what you get.
Your mama is like mustard, she spreads easy.
Your mama is like the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody pokes her.
Your mama is so poor, she can't afford to pay attention!
Your mama is so poor, when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other peoples
fingers.
Your mama is so poor, when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
Your mama is so poor, your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Your mama is so poor, her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Your mama is so poor, burglars break in her house and leave money.
Your mama is so poor, she does drive by shootings on the bus.
Your mama is so fat, when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and
tries to tow her back into the ocean.
Your mama is so fat, she would have been in E.T. but when she rode the bike
across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
Your mama is so fat, when she sat on the rainbow, Skittles popped out.
Your mama is so stupid, she strangled herself with a cordless phone.
Your mama is so fat, she's got more rolls that a bakery.
Your Mama is Like a vacume, she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the
closet.
Your Mama is like lettuce, 25 cents a head.
Your mama is like potato chips-- Fri-to Lay!
Your mama is like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen
up!
Your mama is like the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!
Your mama is like a doorknob - everyone gets a turn!
Your mama is like a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!
Your mama is like a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride!
Your mama is like a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one!
Your mama is like a hardware store: 4 cents a screw!
Your mama is like Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing
Your mama is like a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!
Your mama is like cake mix, 15 servings per package!
Your mama is like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.
Your mama is like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown
in the gutter.
Your mama is like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.
Your mama is like a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!"
Your mama is like chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!
Your mama is like a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck.
Your mama is so stupid, she stands up on an empty bus.
Your mama is so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed.
Your mama is so stupid, she died before the police arrived because she
couldn't find the "11" button in "9-1-1"
Your mama is so stupid, she thought Boyz2Men was a daycare center.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another
person.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought meow mix was a record for cats.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought the board of education was a piece of
wood.
Your mama is so stupid, she told everyone that she was "illegitiment"
because she couldn't read.
Your mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Your mama is so stupid, she sold the car for gas money.
Your mama is so stupid, she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.
Your mama is so stupid, she sold the house to pay the mortgage.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.
Your mama is so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
Your mama is so fat, she has to sew her clothes with a rope.
Your mama is so dirty, when the Sgt. yelled, "Hit the dirt!" everyone
punched your mama.
Your mama is so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end.
Your mama eyes are so crossed, when she cries, tears roll down her back.
Your mama's got one leg shorter than the other and she walks in circles.
Your mama is like a shotgun; one cock and she blows!
Your mama so fat, she hitch-hikes on dump trucks.
Your mama so fat, she uses hoola hoops to hold up her socks!
Your mama so fat, when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing
up.
Your mama so fat, her nickname is "DAMN."
Your mama so fat, that she needs a sock for each toe.
Your mama so fat, she eats Wheat Thicks.
Your mama is so fat, when she hauls ass she has to make two trips.
Your mama is so fat, when she wears high heels she strikes oil.
Your mama is so fat, when she bungi jumps she goes straight to hell.
Your mama is so fat, her senior pictures are ariel views.
Your mama is so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Your mama is so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Your mama is so fat, she goes to the drive inn dressed as a Chevrolet.
Your mama is so fat, when she puts on a pair of BVD's, it stretches to
"BouleVarD".
Your mama is so fat, the last time she saw 90210 it was on a scale.
Your mama is so fat, talking scales tell her to get the fuck off.
Your mama is so fat, she puts on lipstick with a paintroller.
Your mama is so fat, she buys clothes in 3 sizes: XL, Jumbo and OH MY GOD
ITS COMING TOWARDS US.
Your mama is so fat, she is taller when she lays down.
Your mama is like a bowling ball; you can get three fingers in.
Your mama is like railroad tracks because she gets laid all over the
country.
Your mama is like a squirrel, she always has nuts in her mouth.
Your mama's pits are so hairy, it looks like she has Don King in a headlock.
Your mama is like a turkey, she gobbles all day!
Your mama is so rank, her shit is glad to escape!
Your mama is so rank, the National Weather Agency has to name her farts.
Your mama is so stupid, she sat for a half an hour reading the instructions
to a stop sign!
Your mama is so stupid, she bought a solar powered flashlight.
Your mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!
Your mama is like a gumball machine; for a nickel, everyone gets a piece!
Your mama is so fat, she had to go to SeaWorld to get baptised!
Your mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror her reflection ducks.
Your mama is so ugly, the doctor saw the afterbirth and said "Twins!"
Your mama is so ugly, she looked out the window and got arrested for
mooning.
Your mama is so ugly, her mom got drunk to breast feed her.
Your mama is so ugly, at her birth the doctor slapped her parents.
Your mama is so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "sorry, no
professionals."
Your mama is so ugly, I had to get her baby drunk just so she could
breastfeed.
Your mama is so ugly, her face is closed on weekends!
Your mama is so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the
dogs to play with her.
Your mama is so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel.
Your mama is so ugly, I took her to haunted house and she came out with a
job application.
Your mama is so ugly, I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "thanks
for bringing her back.
Your mama is so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle,
they put it around her neck.
Your mama is so ugly, just after she was born, her mama'said "What a
treasure!" and her daddy said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Your mama is so ugly, people go as her for Halloween.
Your mama is so ugly, she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off
of it.
Your mama is so ugly, she could be the poster child for abortion/birth
control!
Your mama is so ugly, she has to trick or treat over the phone.
Your mama is so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back.
Your mama is so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Your mama is so ugly, that Yo daddy takes her to work just so he doesn't
have to kiss her goodbye.
Your mama is so ugly, the doctor is still smacking her ass.
Your mama is so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Your mama is so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit
by a train.
Your mama is so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.
Your mama is so ugly, they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for
Star Wars.
Your mama is so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
Your mama is so ugly, they know what time she was born, because her face
stopped the clock!
Your mama is so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes on in the strip
joints.
Your mama is so ugly, they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty.
Your mama is so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes.
Your mama is so ugly, when she sits in the sand the cat tries to bury her.
Your mama is so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the
surveillence cameras.
Your mama is so ugly, when she was born she was put in an incubator with
tinted windows.
Your mama was such an ugly baby that her parents had to feed her with
slingshots.
When Your mama was born, they had to take her out of the trash can cause
doctor said "Throw this shit away!"
Your mama is so loose, she snores with her ass!
Your mama is so stupid, she was driving to the airport and saw a sign that
said "Airport Left", so she went home.
Your mama is so hairy, she shaves her tongue!
Your mama is so deep, I had to call the plumber to get your daddy out!
Your mama is so stupid, she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer!
Your mama is so stupid, she thought a hot meal was stolen food!
Your mama is so stupid, she looks over glass walls to see what is on the
other side.
Your mama is so stupid, she stuck a phone up her ass to make a booty call!
I saved Yo Mama's life today. I killed a shit eating dog.
Yo mama reminds me of a toilet, fat, white, and smells like shit.
Yo mama's blind and seeing another man.
Yo mama's glasses are so thick, she can burn ants with them.
Yo mama applied for a job at a strip club but they already had a stage.
Yo mama's dick is so big, she makes yo daddy jealous.
Yo mama's so hunchbacked, she has to look up to tie her shoes.
Yo mama's so hunchbacked, she has to wear goggles to wash dishes.
Yo mama's so bucktoothed, she can eat corn-on-the-cob through a picket
fence.
Yo mama's car's so ugly, someone broke in just to steal The CLUB.
Yo mama's house is so small, she ain't got room to change her mind.
Yo mama's missing a finger and can't count past 9.
Yo mama's so cheap, even you could buy her.
Yo mama's so easy that when she heard Santa Claus say Ho Ho Ho she thought
she was getting it three times.
Yo mama is so bad, when she got called for jury duty she was found guilty.
Yo mama's such a slut, she gives out frequent rider miles.
I saw Yo mama eating a Ho Ho and thought to myself... I guess you are what
you eat.
The difference between Yo mama and a washing machine is that when I dump a
load in the washing machine, it doesn't call me the next day.
The difference between Yo mama and 747: not everyone's been on a 747.
Your mama is so poor, you ask whats for dinner and she puts her feet on the
table and says "corn."
Your mama is so lame, she dj's for an ice cream truck.
Your mama has more extensions then AT&T!
Your mama is such a whore, she has given more feel ups than Texaco.
Your mama is such a slut, she's been filled in more than an application
form.
Your mama's hair is so nappy, Moses couldn't part it.
Your mama is so hairy, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
Your mama is so hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her.
Your mama is so hairy, she looks like a Chia pet with a sweater on.
Your mama is so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth.
Your mama is so hairy, she shaves with a weedwacker.
Your mama is so hairy, she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.
Your mama is so fat, instead of wearing Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levis
1002's.
Your mama is so fat, she was floating in the ocean, and Spain claimed her as
a new world.
Your mama is so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.
Your mama is so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run
for the border.
Your mama is so ugly, rice crispies won't even talk to her.
Your mama is so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells
her to get out.
Your mama is so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted
to makeup her mind.
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo.
Your mama is so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
Your mama is like Chinese food...sweet, sour, and cheap.
Your mama is like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents
you can get a slurpy.
Your mama is like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.
Your mama is like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter,
and guys go in and out all day.
Your mama is like a 747, she has a very large cockpit.
Your mama is like a microwave, one button and she's hot.
Your mama is like speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her
up, down, on, and off.
Your mama is like a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.
Your mama is like an aircraft carrier, has a flat top, a big bottom, cruises
up and down the coast, and picks up 100 sailors in every port.
Your mama is like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
Your mama is like Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.
Your mama is like Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.
Your mama is like Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.
Your mama is like a gas station...you gotta pay before you pump.
Your mama is like a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.
Your mama is like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her
away.
Your mama is like a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.
Your mama is like the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her
everyday.
Your mama is like an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.
Your mama is like mustard, she spreads easy.
Your mama is like the Pillsbury dough boy... everybody pokes her.
I saved your mama's life today... I killed a shit-eating dog on the way
over.
Your mama is so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her
good side.
Your mama is so fat, she's 36-24-36... but thats her forearm, neck, and
thigh!
Your mama is so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on
the other side to get her through.
Your mama is so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip.
Your mama is so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.
Your mama is so fat, when she works at the movie theater, she works as the
screen.
Your mama is so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... t the
radio station.
Your mama is so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of
the milk carton.
Your mama is so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.
Your mama is so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
Your mama is so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a
contractor.
Your mama is so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back
in bed.
Your mama is so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease,
the doctor gave her 5 years to live.
Your mama is so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Your mama is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin.
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights
went on.
Your mama is so fat, they used her for a trampoline at the Olympics.
Your mama is so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon.
Your mama is like a package of batteries, Ever Ready!
Your mama is so fat, she's got more rolls than a bakery.
Your mama is so fat, she looks like the michellin man.
Your mama is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.
Your mama is so fat, she makes FreeWilly look like a tic-tac.
Your mama is so fat, she got a glass leg and filled it with kool-aid.
Your mama is so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook.
Your mama is so fat,you put 4 qurters in her ear & a bag of Doritos pop out.
Your mama is so fat, she uses a VCR as a Beeper.
Your mama is so fat, she walked in front of the TV and we missed 2 episodes
of "Friends."
Your mama is so fat, when she wears a Malcome X T-Shirt Helicoptors try to
land on her.
Your mama is so fat, after she gets through turning around, they throw her a
welcome back party.
Your mama is so fat, she don't take pictures, she takes posters.
Your mama is so fat, she wipes her ass with a mattress.
Your mama is so fat, her picture weighs ten pounds.
Your mama is so fat, she could sell shade.
Your mama is so fat, after sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.
Your Mama is so ugly, when she tried to work a street corner Johns paid her
to leave.
Your Mama is so ugly, she walks down the street and gets aressted for
attempted murder.
Your Mama is so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run
for the border.
Your Mama is so ugly, it looks like her neck threw up.
Your Mama is so ugly, she went into a haunted house and came out with a job
Application.
Your Mama is so ugly, when she walks by the bathroom the toilet flushes.
Your Mama smells so bad, she makes the RIGHT GAURD turn left.
Your Mama smells so bad, speed stick slowed down.
Your Mama smells so bad, secret told on her.
Your Mama is so skanky, she worked at a sperm bank and got fired for
drinking on the job.
Your Mama is so skanky, she keeps ice between her legs to keep the crabs
fresh.
Your mama is so stupid, I put a Scratch-N'-Sniff sticker on the bottom of
the pool and she drowned.
Your mama is so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted
to makeup her mind.
Your mama is so stupid, she failed a survey.
Your mama is so stupid, she gave birth to you.
Your mama is so stupid, she needs twice as much sense to be a half-wit.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought 2PAC Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
Your mama is so stupid, she saw a billboard that said "Dodge Trucks" and she
started ducking through traffic.
Your mama is so stupid, she peals M&M's to make chocolate chip cookies.
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo.
Your mama is so stupid, when they said they were playing craps she went and
got toilet paper.
Your mama is so stupid, they had to burn the school down to get her out of
3rd grade.
Your mama is so stupid, she tried to mail a letter with food stamps.
Your mama is so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told the police that she
got mugged.
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks socialism means partying!
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks stereotype is the brand on her
clock-radio.
Your mama is so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed.
Your mama is so stupid, when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview
mirror, she turned around.
Your mama is so stupid, when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the
home, she moved.
Your mama is so stupid, she got fired from a blow-job.
Your mama is so stupid, she used a vibrator for an egg beater.
Your mama is so stupid, she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on
her foot.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought Thiland was a men's clothing store.
Your mama is so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away
all the W's.
Your mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.
Your mama's breath is so stank, we don't know whether she needs gum or
toilet paper.
Your mama's breath is so stank, when she exhales her teeth have to duck.
Your mama's butt is so big, it looks like 2 pigs fighting over milk duds.
Your mama's feet so big, her sneakers need license plates.
Your mama's ass is so big, its got more crack than Mayor Marion Barry.
Your mama's ass is so big, she bent over and got arrested for selling crack.
Your mama's mouth is so big, she speaks in surround sound.
Your mama's hair is so nappy, even Moses couldn't part it.
Your mama's head is so big, when she tries to tie her shoes, the bitch flips
over.
Your mama's head is so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on.
Your mama's head is so small, she got her ears pierced and died.
Your mama's lips are so big, that ChapStick had to invent a spray.
Your mama is so horny, she puts a dollar over her head and says "All you can
eat, under a dollar!"
Your mama is so horny, she maintains a personal relationship with the
Energizer bunny.
Your mama's tits are so small, she had to tatoo "front" on her chest.
Your mama is like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.
Your mama is like Burger King... Your way, right away.
Your mama is like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents
you can get a slurpy.
Your mama is like Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets
dumped.
Your mama is like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.
Your mama is like a nickel, she ain't worth a dime.
Your mama is like a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.
Your mama is like a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day.
Your mama is like a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any
street corner.
Your mama is like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter,
and guys go in and out all day.
Your mama is like a library, open to the public.
Your mama is like a Chinese restaurant, $4.95 all you can eat.
Your mama is like an ATM, open 24 hours.
Your mama is like Discover card, she gives cash back.
Your mama is like a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.
Your mama is like a microwave, one button and she's hot.
Your mama is like speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her
up, down, on, and off.
Your mama is like a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.
Your mama is like a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff.
Your mama is like cheap liquor, tastes like shit.
Your mama is like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
Your mama is like Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.
Your mama is like Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.
Your mama is like Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.
Your mama is like Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.
Your mama is like a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail.
Your mama is like a gas station... you gotta pay before you pump.
Your mama is like a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.
Your mama is like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her
away.
Your mama is like a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.
Your mama is like a race car driver... she burns a lot of rubbers.
Your mama is like a 5 foot tall basketball hoop, it ain't that hard to
score.
Your mama is like the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her
everyday.
Your mama is like cake mix, 15 servings per package!
Your mama is like an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.
Your mama is like a window, always open.
Your mama is like Denny's... open 24 hours.
Your mama is like McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.
Your mama is like McDonalds... What you want is what you get.
Your mama is like mustard, she spreads easy.
Your mama is like the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody pokes her.
Your mama is so poor, she can't afford to pay attention!
Your mama is so poor, when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other peoples
fingers.
Your mama is so poor, when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
Your mama is so poor, your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Your mama is so poor, her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Your mama is so poor, burglars break in her house and leave money.
Your mama is so poor, she does drive by shootings on the bus.
Your mama is so fat, when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and
tries to tow her back into the ocean.
Your mama is so fat, she would have been in E.T. but when she rode the bike
across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
Your mama is so fat, when she sat on the rainbow, Skittles popped out.
Your mama is so stupid, she strangled herself with a cordless phone.
Your mama is so fat, she's got more rolls that a bakery.
Your Mama is Like a vacume, she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the
closet.
Your Mama is like lettuce, 25 cents a head.
Your mama is like potato chips-- Fri-to Lay!
Your mama is like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen
up!
Your mama is like the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!
Your mama is like a doorknob - everyone gets a turn!
Your mama is like a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!
Your mama is like a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride!
Your mama is like a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one!
Your mama is like a hardware store: 4 cents a screw!
Your mama is like Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing
Your mama is like a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!
Your mama is like cake mix, 15 servings per package!
Your mama is like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.
Your mama is like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown
in the gutter.
Your mama is like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.
Your mama is like a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!"
Your mama is like chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!
Your mama is like a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck.
Your mama is so stupid, she stands up on an empty bus.
Your mama is so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed.
Your mama is so stupid, she died before the police arrived because she
couldn't find the "11" button in "9-1-1"
Your mama is so stupid, she thought Boyz2Men was a daycare center.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another
person.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought meow mix was a record for cats.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought the board of education was a piece of
wood.
Your mama is so stupid, she told everyone that she was "illegitiment"
because she couldn't read.
Your mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Your mama is so stupid, she sold the car for gas money.
Your mama is so stupid, she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.
Your mama is so stupid, she sold the house to pay the mortgage.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.
Your mama is so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
Your mama is so fat, she has to sew her clothes with a rope.
Your mama is so dirty, when the Sgt. yelled, "Hit the dirt!" everyone
punched your mama.
Your mama is so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end.
Your mama eyes are so crossed, when she cries, tears roll down her back.
Your mama's got one leg shorter than the other and she walks in circles.
Your mama is like a shotgun; one cock and she blows!
Your mama so fat, she hitch-hikes on dump trucks.
Your mama so fat, she uses hoola hoops to hold up her socks!
Your mama so fat, when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing
up.
Your mama so fat, her nickname is "DAMN."
Your mama so fat, that she needs a sock for each toe.
Your mama so fat, she eats Wheat Thicks.
Your mama is so fat, when she hauls ass she has to make two trips.
Your mama is so fat, when she wears high heels she strikes oil.
Your mama is so fat, when she bungi jumps she goes straight to hell.
Your mama is so fat, her senior pictures are ariel views.
Your mama is so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Your mama is so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Your mama is so fat, she goes to the drive inn dressed as a Chevrolet.
Your mama is so fat, when she puts on a pair of BVD's, it stretches to
"BouleVarD".
Your mama is so fat, the last time she saw 90210 it was on a scale.
Your mama is so fat, talking scales tell her to get the fuck off.
Your mama is so fat, she puts on lipstick with a paintroller.
Your mama is so fat, she buys clothes in 3 sizes: XL, Jumbo and OH MY GOD
ITS COMING TOWARDS US.
Your mama is so fat, she is taller when she lays down.
Your mama is like a bowling ball; you can get three fingers in.
Your mama is like railroad tracks because she gets laid all over the
country.
Your mama is like a squirrel, she always has nuts in her mouth.
Your mama's pits are so hairy, it looks like she has Don King in a headlock.
Your mama is like a turkey, she gobbles all day!
Your mama is so rank, her shit is glad to escape!
Your mama is so rank, the National Weather Agency has to name her farts.
Your mama is so stupid, she sat for a half an hour reading the instructions
to a stop sign!
Your mama is so stupid, she bought a solar powered flashlight.
Your mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!
Your mama is like a gumball machine; for a nickel, everyone gets a piece!
Your mama is so fat, she had to go to SeaWorld to get baptised!
Your mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror her reflection ducks.
Your mama is so ugly, the doctor saw the afterbirth and said "Twins!"
Your mama is so ugly, she looked out the window and got arrested for
mooning.
Your mama is so ugly, her mom got drunk to breast feed her.
Your mama is so ugly, at her birth the doctor slapped her parents.
Your mama is so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "sorry, no
professionals."
Your mama is so ugly, I had to get her baby drunk just so she could
breastfeed.
Your mama is so ugly, her face is closed on weekends!
Your mama is so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the
dogs to play with her.
Your mama is so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel.
Your mama is so ugly, I took her to haunted house and she came out with a
job application.
Your mama is so ugly, I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "thanks
for bringing her back.
Your mama is so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle,
they put it around her neck.
Your mama is so ugly, just after she was born, her mama'said "What a
treasure!" and her daddy said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Your mama is so ugly, people go as her for Halloween.
Your mama is so ugly, she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off
of it.
Your mama is so ugly, she could be the poster child for abortion/birth
control!
Your mama is so ugly, she has to trick or treat over the phone.
Your mama is so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back.
Your mama is so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Your mama is so ugly, that Yo daddy takes her to work just so he doesn't
have to kiss her goodbye.
Your mama is so ugly, the doctor is still smacking her ass.
Your mama is so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Your mama is so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit
by a train.
Your mama is so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.
Your mama is so ugly, they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for
Star Wars.
Your mama is so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
Your mama is so ugly, they know what time she was born, because her face
stopped the clock!
Your mama is so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes on in the strip
joints.
Your mama is so ugly, they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty.
Your mama is so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes.
Your mama is so ugly, when she sits in the sand the cat tries to bury her.
Your mama is so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the
surveillence cameras.
Your mama is so ugly, when she was born she was put in an incubator with
tinted windows.
Your mama was such an ugly baby that her parents had to feed her with
slingshots.
When Your mama was born, they had to take her out of the trash can cause
doctor said "Throw this shit away!"
Your mama is so loose, she snores with her ass!
Your mama is so stupid, she was driving to the airport and saw a sign that
said "Airport Left", so she went home.
Your mama is so hairy, she shaves her tongue!
Your mama is so deep, I had to call the plumber to get your daddy out!
Your mama is so stupid, she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer!
Your mama is so stupid, she thought a hot meal was stolen food!
Your mama is so stupid, she looks over glass walls to see what is on the
other side.
Your mama is so stupid, she stuck a phone up her ass to make a booty call!
I saved Yo Mama's life today. I killed a shit eating dog.
Yo mama reminds me of a toilet, fat, white, and smells like shit.
Yo mama's blind and seeing another man.
Yo mama's glasses are so thick, she can burn ants with them.
Yo mama applied for a job at a strip club but they already had a stage.
Yo mama's dick is so big, she makes yo daddy jealous.
Yo mama's so hunchbacked, she has to look up to tie her shoes.
Yo mama's so hunchbacked, she has to wear goggles to wash dishes.
Yo mama's so bucktoothed, she can eat corn-on-the-cob through a picket
fence.
Yo mama's car's so ugly, someone broke in just to steal The CLUB.
Yo mama's house is so small, she ain't got room to change her mind.
Yo mama's missing a finger and can't count past 9.
Yo mama's so cheap, even you could buy her.
Yo mama's so easy that when she heard Santa Claus say Ho Ho Ho she thought
she was getting it three times.
Yo mama is so bad, when she got called for jury duty she was found guilty.
Yo mama's such a slut, she gives out frequent rider miles.
I saw Yo mama eating a Ho Ho and thought to myself... I guess you are what
you eat.
The difference between Yo mama and a washing machine is that when I dump a
load in the washing machine, it doesn't call me the next day.
The difference between Yo mama and 747: not everyone's been on a 747.
Your mama is so poor, you ask whats for dinner and she puts her feet on the
table and says "corn."
Your mama is so lame, she dj's for an ice cream truck.
Your mama has more extensions then AT&T!
Your mama is such a whore, she has given more feel ups than Texaco.
Your mama is such a slut, she's been filled in more than an application
form.
Your mama's hair is so nappy, Moses couldn't part it.
Your mama is so hairy, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
Your mama is so hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her.
Your mama is so hairy, she looks like a Chia pet with a sweater on.
Your mama is so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth.
Your mama is so hairy, she shaves with a weedwacker.
Your mama is so hairy, she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.
Your mama is so fat, instead of wearing Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levis
1002's.
Your mama is so fat, she was floating in the ocean, and Spain claimed her as
a new world.
Your mama is so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.
Your mama is so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run
for the border.
Your mama is so ugly, rice crispies won't even talk to her.
Your mama is so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells
her to get out.
Your mama is so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted
to makeup her mind.
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo.
Your mama is so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
Your mama is like Chinese food...sweet, sour, and cheap.
Your mama is like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents
you can get a slurpy.
Your mama is like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.
Your mama is like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter,
and guys go in and out all day.
Your mama is like a 747, she has a very large cockpit.
Your mama is like a microwave, one button and she's hot.
Your mama is like speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her
up, down, on, and off.
Your mama is like a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.
Your mama is like an aircraft carrier, has a flat top, a big bottom, cruises
up and down the coast, and picks up 100 sailors in every port.
Your mama is like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
Your mama is like Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.
Your mama is like Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.
Your mama is like Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.
Your mama is like a gas station...you gotta pay before you pump.
Your mama is like a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.
Your mama is like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her
away.
Your mama is like a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.
Your mama is like the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her
everyday.
Your mama is like an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.
Your mama is like mustard, she spreads easy.
Your mama is like the Pillsbury dough boy... everybody pokes her.
I saved your mama's life today... I killed a shit-eating dog on the way
over.
Your mama is so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her
good side.
Your mama is so fat, she's 36-24-36... but thats her forearm, neck, and
thigh!
Your mama is so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on
the other side to get her through.
Your mama is so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip.
Your mama is so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.
Your mama is so fat, when she works at the movie theater, she works as the
screen.
Your mama is so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... t the
radio station.
Your mama is so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of
the milk carton.
Your mama is so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.
Your mama is so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
Your mama is so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a
contractor.
Your mama is so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back
in bed.
Your mama is so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease,
the doctor gave her 5 years to live.
Your mama is so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Your mama is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin.
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights
went on.
Your mama is so fat, they used her for a trampoline at the Olympics.
Your mama is so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon.
Your mama is like a package of batteries, Ever Ready!
Your mama is so fat, she's got more rolls than a bakery.
Your mama is so fat, she looks like the michellin man.
Your mama is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.
Your mama is so fat, she makes FreeWilly look like a tic-tac.
Your mama is so fat, she got a glass leg and filled it with kool-aid.
Your mama is so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook.
Your mama is so fat,you put 4 qurters in her ear & a bag of Doritos pop out.
Your mama is so fat, she uses a VCR as a Beeper.
Your mama is so fat, she walked in front of the TV and we missed 2 episodes
of "Friends."
Your mama is so fat, when she wears a Malcome X T-Shirt Helicoptors try to
land on her.
Your mama is so fat, after she gets through turning around, they throw her a
welcome back party.
Your mama is so fat, she don't take pictures, she takes posters.
Your mama is so fat, she wipes her ass with a mattress.
Your mama is so fat, her picture weighs ten pounds.
Your mama is so fat, she could sell shade.
Your mama is so fat, after sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.
Your Mama is so ugly, when she tried to work a street corner Johns paid her
to leave.
Your Mama is so ugly, she walks down the street and gets aressted for
attempted murder.
Your Mama is so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run
for the border.
Your Mama is so ugly, it looks like her neck threw up.
Your Mama is so ugly, she went into a haunted house and came out with a job
Application.
Your Mama is so ugly, when she walks by the bathroom the toilet flushes.
Your Mama smells so bad, she makes the RIGHT GAURD turn left.
Your Mama smells so bad, speed stick slowed down.
Your Mama smells so bad, secret told on her.
Your Mama is so skanky, she worked at a sperm bank and got fired for
drinking on the job.
Your Mama is so skanky, she keeps ice between her legs to keep the crabs
fresh.
Your mama is so stupid, I put a Scratch-N'-Sniff sticker on the bottom of
the pool and she drowned.
Your mama is so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted
to makeup her mind.
Your mama is so stupid, she failed a survey.
Your mama is so stupid, she gave birth to you.
Your mama is so stupid, she needs twice as much sense to be a half-wit.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought 2PAC Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
Your mama is so stupid, she saw a billboard that said "Dodge Trucks" and she
started ducking through traffic.
Your mama is so stupid, she peals M&M's to make chocolate chip cookies.
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo.
Your mama is so stupid, when they said they were playing craps she went and
got toilet paper.
Your mama is so stupid, they had to burn the school down to get her out of
3rd grade.
Your mama is so stupid, she tried to mail a letter with food stamps.
Your mama is so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told the police that she
got mugged.
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks socialism means partying!
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks stereotype is the brand on her
clock-radio.
Your mama is so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed.
Your mama is so stupid, when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview
mirror, she turned around.
Your mama is so stupid, when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the
home, she moved.
Your mama is so stupid, she got fired from a blow-job.
Your mama is so stupid, she used a vibrator for an egg beater.
Your mama is so stupid, she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on
her foot.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought Thiland was a men's clothing store.
Your mama is so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away
all the W's.
Your mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.
Your mama's breath is so stank, we don't know whether she needs gum or
toilet paper.
Your mama's breath is so stank, when she exhales her teeth have to duck.
Your mama's butt is so big, it looks like 2 pigs fighting over milk duds.
Your mama's feet so big, her sneakers need license plates.
Your mama's ass is so big, its got more crack than Mayor Marion Barry.
Your mama's ass is so big, she bent over and got arrested for selling crack.
Your mama's mouth is so big, she speaks in surround sound.
Your mama's hair is so nappy, even Moses couldn't part it.
Your mama's head is so big, when she tries to tie her shoes, the bitch flips
over.
Your mama's head is so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on.
Your mama's head is so small, she got her ears pierced and died.
Your mama's lips are so big, that ChapStick had to invent a spray.
Your mama is so horny, she puts a dollar over her head and says "All you can
eat, under a dollar!"
Your mama is so horny, she maintains a personal relationship with the
Energizer bunny.
Your mama's tits are so small, she had to tatoo "front" on her chest.
Your mama is like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.
Your mama is like Burger King... Your way, right away.
Your mama is like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents
you can get a slurpy.
Your mama is like Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets
dumped.
Your mama is like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.
Your mama is like a nickel, she ain't worth a dime.
Your mama is like a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.
Your mama is like a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day.
Your mama is like a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any
street corner.
Your mama is like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter,
and guys go in and out all day.
Your mama is like a library, open to the public.
Your mama is like a Chinese restaurant, $4.95 all you can eat.
Your mama is like an ATM, open 24 hours.
Your mama is like Discover card, she gives cash back.
Your mama is like a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.
Your mama is like a microwave, one button and she's hot.
Your mama is like speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her
up, down, on, and off.
Your mama is like a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.
Your mama is like a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff.
Your mama is like cheap liquor, tastes like shit.
Your mama is like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
Your mama is like Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.
Your mama is like Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.
Your mama is like Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.
Your mama is like Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.
Your mama is like a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail.
Your mama is like a gas station... you gotta pay before you pump.
Your mama is like a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.
Your mama is like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her
away.
Your mama is like a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.
Your mama is like a race car driver... she burns a lot of rubbers.
Your mama is like a 5 foot tall basketball hoop, it ain't that hard to
score.
Your mama is like the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her
everyday.
Your mama is like cake mix, 15 servings per package!
Your mama is like an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.
Your mama is like a window, always open.
Your mama is like Denny's... open 24 hours.
Your mama is like McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.
Your mama is like McDonalds... What you want is what you get.
Your mama is like mustard, she spreads easy.
Your mama is like the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody pokes her.
Your mama is so poor, she can't afford to pay attention!
Your mama is so poor, when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other peoples
fingers.
Your mama is so poor, when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
Your mama is so poor, your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Your mama is so poor, her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Your mama is so poor, burglars break in her house and leave money.
Your mama is so poor, she does drive by shootings on the bus.
Your mama is so fat, when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and
tries to tow her back into the ocean.
Your mama is so fat, she would have been in E.T. but when she rode the bike
across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
Your mama is so fat, when she sat on the rainbow, Skittles popped out.
Your mama is so stupid, she strangled herself with a cordless phone.
Your mama is so fat, she's got more rolls that a bakery.
Your Mama is Like a vacume, she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the
closet.
Your Mama is like lettuce, 25 cents a head.
Your mama is like potato chips-- Fri-to Lay!
Your mama is like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen
up!
Your mama is like the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!
Your mama is like a doorknob - everyone gets a turn!
Your mama is like a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!
Your mama is like a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride!
Your mama is like a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one!
Your mama is like a hardware store: 4 cents a screw!
Your mama is like Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing
Your mama is like a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!
Your mama is like cake mix, 15 servings per package!
Your mama is like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.
Your mama is like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown
in the gutter.
Your mama is like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.
Your mama is like a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!"
Your mama is like chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!
Your mama is like a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck.
Your mama is so stupid, she stands up on an empty bus.
Your mama is so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed.
Your mama is so stupid, she died before the police arrived because she
couldn't find the "11" button in "9-1-1"
Your mama is so stupid, she thought Boyz2Men was a daycare center.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another
person.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought meow mix was a record for cats.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought the board of education was a piece of
wood.
Your mama is so stupid, she told everyone that she was "illegitiment"
because she couldn't read.
Your mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Your mama is so stupid, she sold the car for gas money.
Your mama is so stupid, she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.
Your mama is so stupid, she sold the house to pay the mortgage.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.
Your mama is so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
Your mama is so fat, she has to sew her clothes with a rope.
Your mama is so dirty, when the Sgt. yelled, "Hit the dirt!" everyone
punched your mama.
Your mama is so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end.
Your mama eyes are so crossed, when she cries, tears roll down her back.
Your mama's got one leg shorter than the other and she walks in circles.
Your mama is like a shotgun; one cock and she blows!
Your mama so fat, she hitch-hikes on dump trucks.
Your mama so fat, she uses hoola hoops to hold up her socks!
Your mama so fat, when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing
up.
Your mama so fat, her nickname is "DAMN."
Your mama so fat, that she needs a sock for each toe.
Your mama so fat, she eats Wheat Thicks.
Your mama is so fat, when she hauls ass she has to make two trips.
Your mama is so fat, when she wears high heels she strikes oil.
Your mama is so fat, when she bungi jumps she goes straight to hell.
Your mama is so fat, her senior pictures are ariel views.
Your mama is so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Your mama is so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Your mama is so fat, she goes to the drive inn dressed as a Chevrolet.
Your mama is so fat, when she puts on a pair of BVD's, it stretches to
"BouleVarD".
Your mama is so fat, the last time she saw 90210 it was on a scale.
Your mama is so fat, talking scales tell her to get the fuck off.
Your mama is so fat, she puts on lipstick with a paintroller.
Your mama is so fat, she buys clothes in 3 sizes: XL, Jumbo and OH MY GOD
ITS COMING TOWARDS US.
Your mama is so fat, she is taller when she lays down.
Your mama is like a bowling ball; you can get three fingers in.
Your mama is like railroad tracks because she gets laid all over the
country.
Your mama is like a squirrel, she always has nuts in her mouth.
Your mama's pits are so hairy, it looks like she has Don King in a headlock.
Your mama is like a turkey, she gobbles all day!
Your mama is so rank, her shit is glad to escape!
Your mama is so rank, the National Weather Agency has to name her farts.
Your mama is so stupid, she sat for a half an hour reading the instructions
to a stop sign!
Your mama is so stupid, she bought a solar powered flashlight.
Your mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!
Your mama is like a gumball machine; for a nickel, everyone gets a piece!
Your mama is so fat, she had to go to SeaWorld to get baptised!
Your mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror her reflection ducks.
Your mama is so ugly, the doctor saw the afterbirth and said "Twins!"
Your mama is so ugly, she looked out the window and got arrested for
mooning.
Your mama is so ugly, her mom got drunk to breast feed her.
Your mama is so ugly, at her birth the doctor slapped her parents.
Your mama is so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "sorry, no
professionals."
Your mama is so ugly, I had to get her baby drunk just so she could
breastfeed.
Your mama is so ugly, her face is closed on weekends!
Your mama is so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the
dogs to play with her.
Your mama is so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel.
Your mama is so ugly, I took her to haunted house and she came out with a
job application.
Your mama is so ugly, I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "thanks
for bringing her back.
Your mama is so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle,
they put it around her neck.
Your mama is so ugly, just after she was born, her mama'said "What a
treasure!" and her daddy said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Your mama is so ugly, people go as her for Halloween.
Your mama is so ugly, she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off
of it.
Your mama is so ugly, she could be the poster child for abortion/birth
control!
Your mama is so ugly, she has to trick or treat over the phone.
Your mama is so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back.
Your mama is so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Your mama is so ugly, that Yo daddy takes her to work just so he doesn't
have to kiss her goodbye.
Your mama is so ugly, the doctor is still smacking her ass.
Your mama is so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Your mama is so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit
by a train.
Your mama is so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.
Your mama is so ugly, they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for
Star Wars.
Your mama is so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
Your mama is so ugly, they know what time she was born, because her face
stopped the clock!
Your mama is so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes on in the strip
joints.
Your mama is so ugly, they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty.
Your mama is so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes.
Your mama is so ugly, when she sits in the sand the cat tries to bury her.
Your mama is so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the
surveillence cameras.
Your mama is so ugly, when she was born she was put in an incubator with
tinted windows.
Your mama was such an ugly baby that her parents had to feed her with
slingshots.
When Your mama was born, they had to take her out of the trash can cause
doctor said "Throw this shit away!"
Your mama is so loose, she snores with her ass!
Your mama is so stupid, she was driving to the airport and saw a sign that
said "Airport Left", so she went home.
Your mama is so hairy, she shaves her tongue!
Your mama is so deep, I had to call the plumber to get your daddy out!
Your mama is so stupid, she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer!
Your mama is so stupid, she thought a hot meal was stolen food!
Your mama is so stupid, she looks over glass walls to see what is on the
other side.
Your mama is so stupid, she stuck a phone up her ass to make a booty call!
I saved Yo Mama's life today. I killed a shit eating dog.
Yo mama reminds me of a toilet, fat, white, and smells like shit.
Yo mama's blind and seeing another man.
Yo mama's glasses are so thick, she can burn ants with them.
Yo mama applied for a job at a strip club but they already had a stage.
Yo mama's dick is so big, she makes yo daddy jealous.
Yo mama's so hunchbacked, she has to look up to tie her shoes.
Yo mama's so hunchbacked, she has to wear goggles to wash dishes.
Yo mama's so bucktoothed, she can eat corn-on-the-cob through a picket
fence.
Yo mama's car's so ugly, someone broke in just to steal The CLUB.
Yo mama's house is so small, she ain't got room to change her mind.
Yo mama's missing a finger and can't count past 9.
Yo mama's so cheap, even you could buy her.
Yo mama's so easy that when she heard Santa Claus say Ho Ho Ho she thought
she was getting it three times.
Yo mama is so bad, when she got called for jury duty she was found guilty.
Yo mama's such a slut, she gives out frequent rider miles.
I saw Yo mama eating a Ho Ho and thought to myself... I guess you are what
you eat.
The difference between Yo mama and a washing machine is that when I dump a
load in the washing machine, it doesn't call me the next day.
The difference between Yo mama and 747: not everyone's been on a 747.
TJ2001Cobra is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-17-2001, 06:31 PM
GE
Lifer
 
GE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Richardson, TX
Posts: 32,086
Nice cut n paste.
GE is offline  
post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-17-2001, 06:33 PM
T-MINUS
 
Sean88gt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Posts: 28,540
NO WAY i'm reading through all that.

I'll just roll through Garland and hear it all
Sean88gt is offline  
 
post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-17-2001, 06:38 PM Thread Starter
'03 Racer
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,102
Quote:
Originally posted by GE
Nice cut n paste.


I'm not going to type that shit all out! Like you haven't tried to look studious and quoted some penal code crap 600 times before this.

I just thought it was funny.
TJ2001Cobra is offline  
post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-17-2001, 06:42 PM
Time Served
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: North Texas
Posts: 3,413
Your mama is like Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.
Your mama is like Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.



that would be Domino's not dominoes and we used to have the 30 minute guarantee but that ended in 95.

One call does it all is aamco maybe ?
outatime is offline  
post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-17-2001, 06:55 PM Thread Starter
'03 Racer
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,102
I'll be sure to find out whoever the fuck posted it and let them know. Damn, can't even try to post something funny around here...........
TJ2001Cobra is offline  
post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-18-2001, 10:00 AM
Spray N' Pray
 
BUDDAH's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: GARLAND
Posts: 1,112
www.pimpdaddy.com did you ciopy the entire site
BUDDAH is offline  
post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-18-2001, 12:58 PM
Darkside
 
SSMAN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Slipped over to the dark side.
Posts: 20,120
Your Mama has had more meat in her than the Winn Dixie Deli!
SSMAN is offline  
post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-19-2001, 08:18 AM Thread Starter
'03 Racer
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,102
Quote:
Originally posted by BUDDAH
www.pimpdaddy.com did you ciopy the entire site
Someone posted it on another website. I just copied it (as GE so eloquently pointed out).
TJ2001Cobra is offline  
post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-20-2001, 08:38 PM
DERP DERP DERP
 
90GT50's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Close one eye, step to the side.
Posts: 36,645
your mama is so old, she used to gang bang with the HEBREWS.
90GT50 is offline  
post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-20-2001, 11:16 PM
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 715
Dam that post was long, hope you dont try printing it.
laserj is offline  
post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-20-2001, 11:41 PM
Small Fry
 
breadfan35's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: The Keebler Tree
Posts: 10,287
Quote:
Originally posted by laserj
Dam that post was long, hope you dont try printing it.
SNEAKY did!

1993 Coupe
breadfan35 is offline  
post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-21-2001, 09:14 AM
Merry HoHo
 
SNEAKY's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: User Id: 30310 Name: SneakyDaPimp
Posts: 32,791
27 pages.but i did it at work.
SNEAKY is offline  
post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-21-2001, 09:23 AM
Time Served
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: North Texas
Posts: 3,413
Quote:
Originally posted by TJ2001Cobra
I'll be sure to find out whoever the fuck posted it and let them know. Damn, can't even try to post something funny around here...........
TJ I was just messin with ya. I work for domino's so I had to put my .02 in.

Its all good brotha man.

..... you east coast ??? I far east coast
outatime is offline  
post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-21-2001, 04:45 PM
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 715
Quote:
Originally posted by SNEAKY
27 pages.but i did it at work.
Someone had a loooooonnnngggg break.
laserj is offline  
post #16 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-22-2001, 01:45 AM
GE
Lifer
 
GE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Richardson, TX
Posts: 32,086
I can cut n paste it and discuss it as well. I didn't sit my ass for a week in the Academy for nothing!
GE is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome