Osama gets his
One day in the future, Osama bin Laden has a heart attack and dies. He
>immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
>"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I
>have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you
>what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as
>bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll
>even let YOU decide who leaves."
>Osama thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened the
>first room; in it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept
>diving in and surfacing empty handed -- over and over and over. Such was his
>fate in hell.
>"No," bin Laden said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't
>think I could do that all day long."
>The devil led him to the next room; in it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer
>and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time
>"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if
>all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Osama bin Laden.
>The devil opened a third door. In it, Osama saw Bill Clinton, lying on the
>floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread
>eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
>Osama bin Laden looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said,
>"Yeah, I can handle this."
>The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go."