A woman with her foot buried in the accelerator, was flying down the road. As she passed over a bridge she found a cop(and with the necessar radar gun) lying in wait on the other side. The cop pulled her over - walked up to her car and with a classic smirk we all know, asked her " What's your hurry?"
She replied "I'm late for work."
The cop replied "Oh yeah and what do you do?"
The lady said "I'm a rectum stretcher."
Puzzled the cop stammered out "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
The lady answered "Well, I start by inserting one finger then I work my way up to
two fingers, then three, then four and until my whole hand is inside. I carefully work my hand from side to side until I can get both hands in and then slowly but surely, I stretch the rectum until it's about six feet wide."
The cop seemed amazed and asked "And just what in the hell do you do with a six foot azzhole?"
The lady smiled and said ..."You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge... "
Traffic ticket: $95
Court cost: $45
The look on the cop's face: priceless
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