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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-16-2004, 01:06 PM Thread Starter
AHMO!
 
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Aircraft Mechanic Humor

Aircraft Mechanic Humor


Description:
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the
flight that need repair or correction.

The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on
the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot
reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted
by pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.

P: = The problem logged by the pilot.
S: = The solution and action taken by the engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-16-2004, 02:33 PM
Darkside
 
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Its a repost........but still funny
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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-16-2004, 02:53 PM Thread Starter
AHMO!
 
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figured it might be but I got it in e-mail at work today and I am bored too.
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-11-2006, 04:23 PM Thread Starter
AHMO!
 
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man this stuff still cracks me up.
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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-11-2006, 04:42 PM
Old school 4-eye'd
 
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Thanks for reposting! I needed a good laugh. My customer did not appreciate me busting out laughing, though.

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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-11-2006, 06:20 PM
Time Served
 
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It's always good to be reminded of that one.

http://www.myspace.com/foxracin29
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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-11-2006, 11:30 PM
D
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I never get tired of reading that kind of stuff. I've had to sign off a couple of those write off before, but we can't be smart asses in the corrective action anymore.

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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-12-2006, 08:48 AM
 
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That was greatness...
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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-12-2006, 01:39 PM
Arbeit Macht Frei
 
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Lol!

"Wealth Dies, Kinsman Die, A man himself must likewise die; But word-fame, Never dies, For him who achieves it well"
-Hávamál-

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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-12-2006, 02:38 PM
Slingin rock on da corner
 
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funny stuff

Remember, some people are alive simply because it is illegal to kill them.


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post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-12-2006, 02:43 PM
I Brake (For) Bitches
 
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thats pretty damn funny

Who needs please when we've got guns?
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post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-13-2006, 10:50 AM
Dont Be Stupid
 
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funny as hell

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post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-13-2006, 03:27 PM
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Funny!

All up in your woman while you're at work...and she's liking/wanting more
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaisydoesDallas
I would just rather pay someone to get in, get it done and get out!
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post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-13-2006, 04:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NaSSty Nate
Aircraft Mechanic Humor


P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
lmao

2003 Black Mach 1 < FOR SALE
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post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-15-2006, 05:53 PM
Loves the Haterz!!
 
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LMAO..thats some great shit right there
had me rolling

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post #16 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-15-2006, 05:57 PM
Lifer
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NaSSty Nate
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
LMAO, my roommate looked at me funny after that one

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post #17 of 17 (permalink) Old 12-16-2006, 07:52 AM
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lol

IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS ~ FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM.
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