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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-28-2004, 10:30 AM Thread Starter
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A woman...

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
a half-gallon of 2% milk,
a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee,
and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out,
a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in
front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly
stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was
intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She
looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about
her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital
status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know
what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're f***in' ugly!!"
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-28-2004, 12:16 PM
 
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ok that joke was posted like 4 posts down.....that deserves a REPOST!
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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-28-2004, 12:39 PM
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hmmmmmm. That reminds me of this one.

A bus driver has made friends with a drunken bum and often lets him ride on his bus during his shift. On one particular day, the bus driver decided that he would get a little fresh with all the hotties that get on. The first woman steps on the bus and as she passes, the bus driver whispers, “I’d love to tickle your ass with a feather”. The woman turns around abruptly and says, “Excuse me?” “I said we are having some beautiful weather”, replies the bus driver. The woman, obviously embarrassed, blushes and takes her seat. Now, the drunken bum is laughing his ass off and wants to try the prank but the bus driver won’t let him. This goes on all day….

Bus Driver whispers: “I’d love to tickle your ass with a feather”.
Hot Chick: “Excuse Me??”
Bus Driver: “I said we are having some beautiful weather.”
Embarrassed woman sits down.

By now the drunken bum REALLY wants to do the prank and since it’s the end of the shift, the bus driver agrees. The last stop comes up and a really hot chick gets on. As she passes by the drunken bum he screams at the top of his lungs, “I WANNA LICK YOUR PUSSY!!!” The woman, terrified and fearing for her life says, “excuse me?” The drunken bum sweetly replies " you think it’s gonna rain?”
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-28-2004, 01:32 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally posted by venomviper69
ok that joke was posted like 4 posts down.....that deserves a REPOST!
Sorry, didn't know it was a repost... but isn't funny!
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-28-2004, 01:33 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dim Mak
hmmmmmm. That reminds me of this one.

A bus driver has made friends with a drunken bum and often lets him ride on his bus during his shift. On one particular day, the bus driver decided that he would get a little fresh with all the hotties that get on. The first woman steps on the bus and as she passes, the bus driver whispers, “I’d love to tickle your ass with a feather”. The woman turns around abruptly and says, “Excuse me?” “I said we are having some beautiful weather”, replies the bus driver. The woman, obviously embarrassed, blushes and takes her seat. Now, the drunken bum is laughing his ass off and wants to try the prank but the bus driver won’t let him. This goes on all day….

Bus Driver whispers: “I’d love to tickle your ass with a feather”.
Hot Chick: “Excuse Me??”
Bus Driver: “I said we are having some beautiful weather.”
Embarrassed woman sits down.

By now the drunken bum REALLY wants to do the prank and since it’s the end of the shift, the bus driver agrees. The last stop comes up and a really hot chick gets on. As she passes by the drunken bum he screams at the top of his lungs, “I WANNA LICK YOUR PUSSY!!!” The woman, terrified and fearing for her life says, “excuse me?” The drunken bum sweetly replies " you think it’s gonna rain?”
That's a good one...
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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-28-2004, 01:34 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally posted by 99shestang
Sorry, didn't know it was a repost... but isn't funny!
Ment to say "isn't it funny"
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-28-2004, 01:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by 99shestang
That's a good one...
I thought so. My buddy who told me that one should be a comedian. It's all in the "presentation".
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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-28-2004, 02:00 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dim Mak
I thought so. My buddy who told me that one should be a comedian. It's all in the "presentation".
Yeah I agree... I don't ever tell jokes because when I do no one laughs , but my boyfriend will tell it right after me and everyone will laugh... I give up
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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-28-2004, 05:41 PM
 
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hehehe
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-29-2004, 11:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dim Mak
hmmmmmm. That reminds me of this one.

A bus driver has made friends with a drunken bum and often lets him ride on his bus during his shift. On one particular day, the bus driver decided that he would get a little fresh with all the hotties that get on. The first woman steps on the bus and as she passes, the bus driver whispers, “I’d love to tickle your ass with a feather”. The woman turns around abruptly and says, “Excuse me?” “I said we are having some beautiful weather”, replies the bus driver. The woman, obviously embarrassed, blushes and takes her seat. Now, the drunken bum is laughing his ass off and wants to try the prank but the bus driver won’t let him. This goes on all day….

Bus Driver whispers: “I’d love to tickle your ass with a feather”.
Hot Chick: “Excuse Me??”
Bus Driver: “I said we are having some beautiful weather.”
Embarrassed woman sits down.

By now the drunken bum REALLY wants to do the prank and since it’s the end of the shift, the bus driver agrees. The last stop comes up and a really hot chick gets on. As she passes by the drunken bum he screams at the top of his lungs, “I WANNA LICK YOUR PUSSY!!!” The woman, terrified and fearing for her life says, “excuse me?” The drunken bum sweetly replies " you think it’s gonna rain?”
What??? I don't get it.
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