>>Dearest Redneck Son,
>>I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't
>>where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that
>>accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't
>>to send you the address because the last family that lived here took
>>house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their
>>This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm Not
>>about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't
>>The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first
>>for three days and the second time for four days.
>>About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it
>>be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them
>>and put them in the pockets.
>>Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really Worried
>>it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
>>Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out What it
>>yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just
>>Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men Tried to
>>him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he
>>for three days.
>>Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was
>>driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two
>>friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the
>>There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the
>>Your Favorite Aunt, Mom