A guy walks into a bar, and he's got a little mokey on a leash. The bartender immediately says, "Buddy, get that thing out of here, NOW!" ANd the guy eventually manages to persuade the barkeep to let the monkey stay, and that he will keep the leash in his hand the whole time, and never let the monkey run around. Th barkeep grudgingly agrees, and the guy starts drinking. After a few, his hand slips, and the monkey gets loose. It immediately runs over to the pool table, and shoves the 8-ball down his throat. The bartender, now FURIOUS, starts yelling, telling the guy whose monkey it is to get the hell out. The guys says he's wicked sorry, and that the monkey eats anything it sees, so he forks over the $$ for the tab and the 8-ball, and leaves.
A few months later, the same guy with the same monkey walks into the same bar while the same bartender is working. The bartender sees the monkey and says, "No. Get out, now. I remeber what that stupid monkey did last time!!!" The guy starst pleading with him, and since it's the only bar around for miles, again the bartender grudgingly agrees to serve him and let the monkey stay, assuming it's leashed at all times. So the guy keeps drinkin', has a few, and then accidentally lets the monkey slip. The monkey immediately jumps on the bar, grabs a peanut from the snack bowl, shoves it up it's arse, pulls it out, and then eats it. The bartender is completely disgusted, and starts yelling at the monkey's owner. To which the owner replies: "Remember how I said that monkey eats everything? He still does. But after that 8-ball fiasco, he checks for fit first."