Some Funny Radio Transmissons - DFWstangs Forums
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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 03-03-2004, 08:25 AM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In a street car
Posts: 2,240
Some Funny Radio Transmissons

the 1960's.)
In his book, Sled Driver, SR-71 Blackbird pilot
Brian Shul writes: "I'll always remember a certain
radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt
(my back-seater) and I were screaming across
Southern California 13 miles high.
We were monitoring various radio transmissions
from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles
Though they didn't really control us, they did
monitor our movement across their scope.
I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its ground
speed."90 knots" Center replied. Moments later,
a Twin Beech required the same. "120 knots,"
Center answered. We weren't the only ones proud
of our ground speed that day as almost instantly an
F-18 smugly transmitted, "Ah, Center, Dusty 52
requests ground speed readout." There was a slight
pause, then the response, "525 knots on the ground,
Dusty." Another silent pause.
As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this
was, I heard a familiar click of a radio transmission
coming from my back-seater. It was at that precise
moment I realized Walt and I had become a real
crew, for we were both thinking in unison.
"Center, Aspen 20, you got a ground speed readout
for us?" There was a longer than normal pause....
"Aspen, I show 1,742 knots" (That's about 2004.658
mph who don't know)
No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.
In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center
reported receiving a request for clearance to FL 600
(60,000ft). The incredulous controller, with some
disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan to get
up to 60,000 feet?
The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, "We
don't plan to go up to it; we plan to go down to it."
He was cleared.
The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38
revolver. He placed it on top of the instrument panel,
and then asked the navigator,
"Do you know what I use this for?"
The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?"
The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who
get me lost!"
The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place
it on his chart table.
The pilot asked, "What's that for?" "To be honest
sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost
before you will."
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock,
6 miles!" Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We
have digital watches!"
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by
the tower to hold short of the runway while a
MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled out, turned
around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some
quick-witted comedian in the MD80 crew got on the
radio and said, "What a cute little plane.
Did you make it all by yourself?"
Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the
insult go by, came back with: "I made it out of
MD80 parts. Another landing like that and I'll have
enough parts for another one."
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a
priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter
was running "a bit peaked." Air Traffic Control told
the fighter jock that he was number two behind a
B-52 that had one engine shut down.
"Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine
A student became lost during a solo cross-country
flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar,
ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped,
turned around and returned to the gate. After an
hour-long wait, it finally took off.
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant,
"What was the problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the
engine," explained the flight attendant," and it took
us a while to find a new pilot."
"Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45
"But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much
noise can we make up here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes
when it hits a 727?
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 03-04-2004, 08:29 AM
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 446
here's one

What's the difference between a fighter pilot and God?

God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.

Oh and what's the difference between a fighter pilot and his jet?

The jet quits whining when it's on the ground.

ok, i'm done
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