the difference between dogs & cats...! - DFWstangs Forums
 
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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 02-23-2004, 01:29 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 99
the difference between dogs & cats...!

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

EXCERPTS FROM! A CAT'S DIARY
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that
keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of
furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving
around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded,
must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust
and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced
myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their
bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the
headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I
am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts.
They only cooed and condescended about what a good
little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For
no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This
time however it included a burning foamy chemical called
"shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid?
My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck
between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their
accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event.
However, I could hear the noise. More importantly I
overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies
and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems
more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird
on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with
them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to
his current place! ment in the metal room his safety is assured.
But I can wait; it is only a matter of time....
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 02-23-2004, 03:16 PM
Time Served
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 802
LMFAO
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 02-23-2004, 11:03 PM
who cares
 
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: dfwmotorsports.net
Posts: 13,716
Thumbs up

lol
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