One of the funnest e-jokes of all time - DFWstangs Forums
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-11-2001, 09:40 AM Thread Starter
dispatching aero planes
 
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One of the funnest e-jokes of all time

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly
speak.

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied,

"When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

>> > 1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

>> > 2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

>> > 3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

>> > 4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

>> > 5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

>> > 6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.

>> > 7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy,

>> > Junior and the Spook.

>> > 8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

>> > 9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,

>> > don't say he was stoned off his ass.

>> > 10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."

>> > 11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take

>> > this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"

>> > 12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"

>> > 13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub
thanks

>> > for the grub, yeah God.

>> > 14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at
St.Peter's,

>> > not a peter pulling contest at St.Taffy's.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-11-2001, 02:37 PM
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
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LOL!!!

btw, what's a monsignor??
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-14-2001, 12:56 PM
Merry HoHo
 
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Location: User Id: 30310 Name: SneakyDaPimp
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i am not sure about the best yes its funny.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-10-2001, 05:36 AM
Punk Ass Newbie
 
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lmao
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