The Rules - DFWstangs Forums
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-18-2004, 03:38 PM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In a street car
Posts: 2,240
Thumbs up The Rules

Sorry if it is a repost!

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note...theses are all numbered

"1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up put it down.

We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default setting. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that

. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want us to answer, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks

. 1.You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this: Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-18-2004, 04:10 PM
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 487
Re: The Rules

Quote:
Originally posted by BLK306
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
This one sounds SO familiar!

Good post though, in some ways they are all true!
BLK02 is offline  
post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-20-2004, 01:55 AM
Lifer
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Dallas
Posts: 2,276
Quote:


1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. If you ask a question you don't want us to answer, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks
Those are right on! Especially the last one about thinking.
Swoll5.0 is offline  
 
post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-23-2004, 01:23 AM
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 3,449
Re: The Rules

Quote:
Originally posted by BLK306
Sorry if it is a repost!

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note...theses are all numbered

"1" ON PURPOSE!


1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that

. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want us to answer, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

. 1.You have enough clothes.

1. Thank you for reading this: Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
all those are so so so true I love my wife but it is true
spurlock_racing is offline  
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