Who Is Jack Schitt??? - DFWstangs Forums
 
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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 11-08-2001, 10:56 PM Thread Starter
King Dingaling
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: The mean streets of Burleson
Posts: 486
Talking Who Is Jack Schitt???

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
We
find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!"
Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an
intellectual
way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N.Schitt, Inc. They
had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply
religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla
Schitt,
Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents'
objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later
married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she
wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son
with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six
children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout
childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The
wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens
nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt,
the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from
Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. Now when someone says, "You
don't know Jack Schitt, " you can correct them.



Sincerely,


Crock O. Schitt
Wicked94GT is offline  
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 11-09-2001, 12:19 AM
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 3,200
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Haha, that's good schitt!! That story (or whatever it is) was on a shirt at gadzooks a few years ago! One of my favs!!
92GreenMonster is offline  
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