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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-30-2004, 10:35 AM Thread Starter
 
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Subject: Understanding Engineers

>
> Understanding Engineers- Take One
>Two engineering students crossing the campus when one said, " Where
did
>you get such a great bike? "
> The second engineer replied, " Well, i was walking along yesterday
>minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
She
>threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "
Take
>what you want."
> The first engineer nodded approvingly, " Good choice; the clothes
>probably wouldn't have fit. "
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-------------------------
> Understanding Engineers- Take Two
> To the optimist, the glass is half full.
> To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
> To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
>
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>--------------------------------
> Understanding Engineers - Take Three
> A pastor, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
>particularly slow group of golfers.
> The engineer fumed, " Whats with these guys? We must have been
waiting
>for 15 minutes ! "
> The doctor chimed in, " I don't know, but i've never seen such
>ineptitude ! "
> The pastor said, " Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Lets have a
word
>with him. "
> " Hi George! Say, whats with the group ahead of us? They're rather
slow,
>aren't they? "
> The greens keeper replied, " Oh yes, thats a group of blind
>firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire
last
>year, so we always let them play for free anytime. "
> The group was silent for a moment.
>The pastor said, " Thats so bad. i think i will say a special prayer
for
>them tonight. "
> The doctor said, " Good idea. And im going to contact my
>opththalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.
"
> The engineer said, " Why can't these guys play at night ? "
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-------------------------------
> Understanding Engineers- Take Four
> What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
>Engineers?
> Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build
targets.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>--------------------------------
> Understabding Engineers- Take Five
> The graduate with a Science degree asks, " Why does it work? "
> The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, " How does it work ?
"
> The graduate with an Accounting degee asks, " How much will it
cost? "
> The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, " Do you want fries
with
>that ? "
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>---------------------------------
> Understanding Engineers- Take Six
> Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
>possible designers of the human body.
> One said, " It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the
joints.
>"
> Another said, " No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous
system
>has thousands of electrical connections. "
> The last one said, " Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else
would
>run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area ? "
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>---------------------------
> Understanding Engineers- Take Seven
> " Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers
>beleive that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. "
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>------------------------------
> Understanding Engineers- Take Eight
> An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it
was
>better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
> The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
>foundation for an enduring relationship.
> The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the
passion
>and mystery he found there.
> The engineer said, " I like both,"
> " Both? "
> " Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you
are
>spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get
>some work done. "
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-----------------------------
> Understanding Engineers-Take Nine
> An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to
him
>and said,
> " If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess. "
> He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
> The frog spoke up again and said, " If you kiss me and turn me
back
>into a beautiful princess, i will stay with you for one week. "
> The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
returned
>it to the pocket.
> The frog then cried out, " If you kiss me and turn me back into a
>princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want. "
> Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back
into
>his pocket.
> Finally, the frog asked, " What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
>beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do
>anything you want. Why won't you kiss me? "
> The engineer said, " Look, i'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
>girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-03-2004, 02:54 PM
Wolverines!!!
 
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HAHAH
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-04-2004, 11:34 PM
UNFUCKWITHABLE
 
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<--- Mechanical Engineering Technology major at TTU right now.
I coiuld see some of the guys in my classes doing shit like that.


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.

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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-04-2004, 11:49 PM
Ide fuck her in the ass..
 
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-05-2004, 05:26 PM
 
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Those are some good ones.
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-10-2004, 01:12 PM
At least it sounds fast
 
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some are so true as well

<----Engineer
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-12-2004, 02:38 AM
Target Practice
 
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hhahahahaha that's great


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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-14-2004, 09:44 PM
Still got Nothing
 
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Re: Subject: Understanding Engineers

Quote:
Originally posted by JohnBoy's 91
>
but a talking frog, now that's cool.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hadn't heard that one.

<----- Mechanical Engineer
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