Punk Ass Bitch
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Searcy Arkansas
Kevin, a 19 year old college student, is home for summer break. In order to make a few extra bucks he decides that he is going to apply for a part time job at the local K-Mart.
Kevin fills out the standard application and is called into the manager's office. The manager is the typical K-Mart employee -- skinny, glasses, pocket protector and K-Mart clothes. Also, he takes a little too much pride in working at K-Mart. He says, "Kevin, do you think you have what it takes to work at the 'Big K'?"
Kevin laughs to himself, thinking "what an asshole!" But since it was an interview he responded, "Absolutely."
The Manager continued, "In order to work here you need to be a salesman and you need to be in touch with the customer. Do you think you've got those qualities?"
Again, Kevin laughs to himself, "Is this fucking guy serious?" but he says again, "Absolutely."
"Well let me show you how it's done,"says the manager.
The manager leads Kevin to a counter and waits for a customer. The first guy to come along drops a 50 pound bag of grass seed on the counter. The manager says, "That's a pretty big bag of grass seed ya got there."
"Yup," responds the customer.
The manager winks at Kevin and says, "Ya think you might need a new lawn mower for that grass you're putting down?"
Kevin sees the lightbulb go off over the customer's head. "Yeah! That's a great idea." The manager leads him back to the lawn mowers and helps him pick out a really nice model.
"Ya see, Kev, that's how it's done. Ya think you can do that?"
"Hell, yeah!" says Kevin, "Just watch."
Kevin steps up to the counter and the next man to come along drops a huge package of tampons onto the counter. Kevin looks at the box and then at the embarrassed customer. "That's a pretty big box of tampons ya got there," says Kevin.
The embarrassed man looks up feebly and says, "Yup."
A moment of silence passes and then Kevin blurts out, "Would you be interested in buying a new lawnmower?"
The customer looks up from his shoes and responds, "What the fuck would I want a lawnmower for?"
Kevin winks at his manager and says, "Well, since you won't be getting laid this weekend I figured you might want to mow your fucking lawn!"