THE DAY IS COMING . . .
> Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."
> Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."
> Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
> Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
>Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
>Drive,and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at
>Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which
>Number are you calling from, sir?"
>Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
>Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."
>Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your
>All-Meat Special pizzas..."
>Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
>Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
>Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very
>high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health
>Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
>Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?"
>Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure
>you'll like it"
>Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
>Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
>Local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
>Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
>What's the damage?"
>Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four
>kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."
>Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
>Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
>Your credit card balance is over its limit."
>Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your
>driver gets here."
>Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's
>Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash
>ready. Howlong will it take?"
>Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
>minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while
>you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be
>a little awkward."
>Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"
>Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so
>your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that
>you'd be using it."
>Customer: "@#%/[email protected]
>Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got
>a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."
>Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
>Customer: "No, nothing. oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of
>Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."
>Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause states
>that the cola's only come with the ALL-MEAT pizza specials !