"The Rules" from a Man's point of view - DFWstangs Forums
 
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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 12-22-2003, 06:38 AM Thread Starter
At least it sounds fast
 
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"The Rules" from a Man's point of view

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!


1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us griping about your leaving it down.

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 12-22-2003, 09:26 AM
A G RATED SITE!
 
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lmao
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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 12-22-2003, 09:29 AM
Ted
Opulance. I has it.
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by VINCENT
lmao
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 12-22-2003, 03:42 PM
 
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LMFAO That is so true.
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 12-22-2003, 10:22 PM
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LMAO!! I'm sending this to my girlfriend right now!! GUess I'll be "camping" tonight!
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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 12-25-2003, 06:20 PM
insert something aqui
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by chasenme1024
LMFAO That is so true.

1991 lx 5.0

lil ol 302

Back In The Jackstand Racing Crew!
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 12-26-2003, 12:15 AM
Hero in a half shell
 
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i wonder what my mom would think if i posted that on the fridge.

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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 12-28-2003, 08:57 PM
Hustlin'
 
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This should be mandatory reading for all women!
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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 12-29-2003, 04:19 PM
Out with your mom
 
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Nice! hahaha

Living, the only thing worth dying for.

"It is not what he has which directly expresses the worth of a man, but what he is."- Henri Frederic Amiel

'88 F150, '01 Z71, '85 BMW 745i Turbo,
'79 280S Benz, '85 300SD Benz, '86 420SEL Benz, '87 300SDL Benz
(severely in need of updating, around 14 vehicle current)

I have red hair
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 12-30-2003, 07:07 AM
Lifer
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by chasenme1024
LMFAO That is so true.
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