Company XMas Party - DFWstangs Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-17-2003, 10:08 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,577
Company XMas Party

MEMO: December 1st


TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on
December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked
eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols ... feel free to sing
along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to
light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at
that time; however, no gift should be over $10.


Merry Christmas to you, and your family.


Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

------------------------------------------------------------------------

MEMO: December 2nd


TO: ALL EMPLOYEES


In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We
recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with
Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're
calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are
celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no
Christmas carols sung.


Happy Holidays to you, and your family.


Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

----------------------------------------------------------------------


MEMO: December 3rd


TO: ALL EMPLOYEES


Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this
request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA
Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the gifts
exchange--no gifts will be allowed since the union members feel that $10 is
too much money.


Happy Holidays to you, and your family.


Patty Lewis, Human Researchers Director

----------------------------------------------------------------------

MEMO: December 7th


TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the
dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed
to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men; each
will have their table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay
men's table.


Happy now!


Patty Lewis, Human Racehorses Director

----------------------------------------------------------------------

MEMO: December 9th



TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

People, people! -- Nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play
Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there
is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit."


Patty Lewis, Human Rat Race Director

----------------------------------------------------------------------

MEMO: December 10th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Vegetarians -- I've had it with you people! We're going to hold this party
at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit at the
table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and you'll get
salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know tomatoes have
feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm
hearing them right now... Ha!


I hope you all have a rotten holiday!


Drive drunk and die, you hear me?


The Bitch from Hell


----------------------------------------------------------------------

MEMO: December 14th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from
her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to her at
the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our
Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.


Happy Holidays.
dankstang is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-17-2003, 10:37 AM
insert something aqui
 
junior's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: grand prairie
Posts: 5,779
lol <--- i think

1991 lx 5.0

lil ol 302

Back In The Jackstand Racing Crew!
junior is offline  
post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-17-2003, 11:33 AM
Merry HoHo
 
SNEAKY's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: User Id: 30310 Name: SneakyDaPimp
Posts: 32,791
lmao

.(OBAMA) One Big Ass Mistake America
SNEAKY is offline  
 
post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-17-2003, 01:16 PM
A G RATED SITE!
 
DA MEXICAN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: THE TOUGH STREETS OF PLANO "BITCH"
Posts: 2,028
lmao
DA MEXICAN is offline  
post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-21-2003, 07:09 AM
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 292
LOL
ta7series21 is offline  
post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-21-2003, 09:04 PM
Poor Boy Racing
 
juiced86stang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Plano,TX
Posts: 2,770
LMAO!!!

92 Mustang GT.....a few things in the works.
juiced86stang is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome