Twas the night before christmas and all through the house
the whole damn familey was drunk as a mouse.
With mama in the whore house and daddy in jail
Id settel for a peice of tail.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my sister inlaw to see what was the matter
I ran down the hall as quick as a flash
tripped over the broom and busted my ass.
I looked out the window and and what should apear
a rusty old sleigh and 8 fucking reindeer.
with a little old man beating his dick
I knew in a minute it must be saint nick
I heard him exclaim to the roof you bastards all
or I will cut off your balls
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell
I knew in a moment the bastard had fell
He stuffed all the stockings with pretzals and beer
and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer
Sticking his fingers up his nose
up the chimney the fat bastard rose
I heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight
fuck you all Ive had one hell of a night