Osama in Hell
Osama bin Laden
has a heart attack and dies. He
immediately goes to hell, where the devil
is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the
devil. "You are on my list, but I have no
room for you. You definitely have to stay
here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
I've got a couple of folks here who
weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of
hem go, but you have to take their place.
I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Osama thought that sounded pretty good,
so he agreed. The devil opened the first
room; in it was Richard Nixon and a large
pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing
empty handed -- over and over and over.
Such was his fate in hell.
"No," bin Laden said. "I don't think so. I'm
not a good swimmer and I don't think I
could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room; in it
was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and
a room full of rocks. All he did was swing
that hammer, time after time after time.
"No, I've got this problem with my
shoulder. I would be in constant agony
if all I could do was break rocks all day,"
commented Osama bin Laden.
The devil opened a third door. In it,
Osama saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor
with his arms staked over his head, and
his legs staked in a spread eagle pose.
Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing
what she does best.
Osama bin Laden looked at this in
disbelief for a while and finally said,
"Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica,
you're free to go."