how to kill a south dakota eel - DFWstangs Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-23-2003, 10:30 PM Thread Starter
Man, fuck yo kids!
 
molotov cocktail's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: El Pinche Irving
Posts: 2,921
Talking how to kill a south dakota eel

I just remembered this from highschool! I am sure its a repost but just wanted to share with those of you who have never seen this........



Little Johnny was 11 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from the other boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done.

One day he took his questions to his mother who became flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtain one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did the following morning. Here is what Johnny described to his mother:

"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured sis must be getting sick, because her face started to look funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just like a doctor would except he is not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. Sis must have put some bigger fruit under her blouse this time because her boyfriend kept on saying how they were the largest melons he had ever felt. He must of gotten real hungry from all that kissing and stuff because she let him take off her blouse and suck on both of them for a long time."

"Then he started getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them were panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been getting cold, because he put it under her skirt. About this time, sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch. Then this was when the fever really started. I knew it was a fever because sis told him she felt really hot. Finally I found out what was making them so sick. A big eel had gotten in his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there about 12 inches long! Honest! Anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When sis saw it, she really got scared. Her eyes got big and her mouth fell open and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she had ever seen. I should have told her about the one at the lake. Anyway, sis got brave and tried to kill it by biting its head off. All of a sudden she made a noise and let the eel go. I guess it bit her. Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he got a muzzle out of his pocket. He slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting her again. Sis laid back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor lock on it, and he helped by laying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight! Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them. They must have been getting shocked by the eel because they were shaking a lot. After awhile, they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they had killed the eel. I knew it was dead because it just hung there limp, and some of the insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were tired from the fight, but they went back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again, and by golly, the eel was not dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats; they have nine lives or something. This time, sis jumped on it and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it. After a long fight, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead because I saw sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet."
molotov cocktail is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-24-2003, 03:03 PM
Lifer
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: denison tx
Posts: 6,783
I think that was me who dated his sister
6695 is offline  
post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-24-2003, 07:28 PM Thread Starter
Man, fuck yo kids!
 
molotov cocktail's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: El Pinche Irving
Posts: 2,921
Quote:
Originally posted by coley
I think that was me who dated his sister

hahaha
molotov cocktail is offline  
 
post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-25-2003, 02:20 AM
Time Served
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Lincoln, Ne
Posts: 202
ewwwwww......thats funny.
stangaddict is offline  
post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-25-2003, 08:27 AM
insert something aqui
 
junior's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: grand prairie
Posts: 5,779
thats funny i wonder what happened to the girl after her mom found out

i think she got owned
junior is offline  
post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-26-2003, 10:12 PM Thread Starter
Man, fuck yo kids!
 
molotov cocktail's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: El Pinche Irving
Posts: 2,921
Quote:
Originally posted by junior
thats funny i wonder what happened to the girl after her mom found out

i think she got owned
never thought about that.....
molotov cocktail is offline  
post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-26-2003, 11:35 PM
93 Blk Coupe
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
i aint reading all that, so i will just say...that was funny...
post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-27-2003, 12:58 AM
DFWmustangs.net
 
STRONGNUFF's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Colleyville
Posts: 6,015
Quote:
Originally posted by 93 Blk Coupe
i aint reading all that, so i will just say...that was funny...
STRONGNUFF is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome