fat boys dead!
It is with the saddest heart that we must pass on the following news.
Please join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and
complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly
greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects,
including Mrs. Buttersworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the
Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the
eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was
kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was
filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very `smart` cookie, wasting much
of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he
still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough
and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly
dad, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes