Moving to Texas (mabye repost?) - DFWstangs Forums
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-07-2003, 09:29 PM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Sherman
Posts: 389
Moving to Texas (mabye repost?)

TEXAS MY TEXAS -- ADVICE TO ANYONE MOVING TO TEXAS

1. Save all manner of bacon grease.
You will be instructed later how to use it.

2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can.
Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the
cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain
will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals & ammunition & bait in
the same store.

5. Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is
plural possessive.

6. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

7. If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle.

8. If you hear a redneck exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" Stay out
of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.

9. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the humidity" And the collateral phrase "You call this hot? Wait'll August.

10. There ain't no deli's. Don't ask.

11. In conversation, never put your hand on a man's shoulder when making a point, especially in a bar.

12. Chili does NOT have beans in it.

13. Brisket is not 'cooked' in an oven.

14. Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.

15. If you think it's too hot, don't worry. It'll cool down -- in
December.

16. We do TOO have 4 Seasons: December, January, February, and Summer!

17. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F-150 is.

18. If someone tells you "Don't worry, those peppers aren't hot,"
you can be damn certain they are.

19. If you fail to heed my warning in #18 above, be sure to have a bowl of guacamole handy. Water won't do it.

20. Rocky Mountain oysters are NOT oysters. Don't ask.

21. If someone says they're fixin to do something, that doesn't mean anything's broken.

22. Don't even think of ordering a strawberry daiquiri.What you
really mean to say is "margarita."

23. If you don't understand our passion for college and high school football just keep your mouth shut.

24. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but the availability of shade.

25. If you are a slower moving vehicle on a two lane road pull onto the shoulder. That is called courtesy.

26. BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hot dogs outdoors.

27. No matter what you've seen on TV, line dancing is not a popular weekend pastime.

28. Tea = Iced Tea.There is no other kind.

29. Everything goes better with Ranch dressing.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-08-2003, 08:48 AM
WFO Team Kicks Ass!!!
 
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lol
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-08-2003, 09:08 AM
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Location: Grayson County
Posts: 4,474
So true on 18 and 19, but 24 is the best. LMFAO, cause that was me last summer with a black coupe, tinted windows and no A/C. It was always cooler outside at 105 degrees than compared to riding in my car with the windows down after it had set in the sun.



Also don't forget #30: Not EVERYONE in Texas rides a horse to work, lives on a ranch and wears a cowboy hat. Texas is not the TV show DALLAS.

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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-08-2003, 09:18 AM
 
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2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

I like this one the best, especially since I'm originally from Oregon.... lololol
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