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post #1 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-06-2003, 08:45 AM Thread Starter
Lifer
 
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Girl Poem

A poem for us....



I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.
And I can justify
any shopping spree.

Don't go to a barber,
but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage
without a hard-on.

I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends,
about the size of my ass.

My beauty's a masterpiece,
and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit,
to others when I'm wrong.

I don't drive in circles,
at any cost.
And I don't have a problem,
admitting I'm lost.

I never forget,
an important date.
You just gotta deal with it,
I'm usually late.

I don't watch movies,
with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay,
to remember the score.

I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.

Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!

Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Look at me you idiot...
Not at my chest????

I don't have a problem,
With Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.

DON'T call me a GIRL ,
a BABE or a CHICK .
I am a WOMAN.
Get it?, you DICK!?!
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post #2 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-06-2003, 08:49 AM
 
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Quote:
Look at me you idiot...
Not at my chest!
Why are they there if we can't look at 'em?
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post #3 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-06-2003, 08:53 AM
 
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That was cute Amber!
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post #4 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-06-2003, 12:20 PM
 
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Very true!
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post #5 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-06-2003, 04:13 PM
Merry HoHo
 
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Re: Girl Poem

Quote:
Originally posted by Amber
A poem for us....





DON'T call me a GIRL ,
a BABE or a CHICK .
I am on my knees.
Get it out!, and give me some DICK!?!
fixed

Last edited by SNEAKY; 11-06-2003 at 04:24 PM.
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post #6 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-06-2003, 05:58 PM
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i like my ending better.

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post #7 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-06-2003, 06:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Xcountry80
Why are they there if we can't look at 'em?
So we have some thing to play with when we are bored.

Quote:
Originally posted by halo/horns
Marie... I think you are perfect
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post #8 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-07-2003, 08:43 AM
 
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Quote:
So we have some thing to play with when we are bored.
Awesome
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post #9 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-07-2003, 10:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Xcountry80
Awesome
Yes, it really is awesome. Have you ever seen a woman sitting in a waiting room playing with her tits? OMG what a turn on
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post #10 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-07-2003, 10:16 AM
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too long

Thus Spoke Zarathustra
---
This will help everyone out, check it.
It is time we acknowledged a basic feature of human discourse: when considering the truth of a proposition, one is either engaged in an honest appraisal of the evidence and logical arguments, or one is not. Religion is the one area of our lives where people imagine that some other standard of intellectual integrity applies.
-Sam Harris
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post #11 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-07-2003, 03:42 PM
 
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Quote:
Yes, it really is awesome. Have you ever seen a woman sitting in a waiting room playing with her tits? OMG what a turn on
Where are these rooms, and what do you have to wait for.....
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post #12 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-07-2003, 04:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Xcountry80
Where are these rooms, and what do you have to wait for.....
normally at doctor offices but you might see a few chics playing with their tits while they are at lunch\dinner with their SO and he is talking about nothing she cares to hear.

Quote:
Originally posted by halo/horns
Marie... I think you are perfect
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post #13 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-10-2003, 10:00 PM
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Re: Re: Girl Poem

Quote:
Originally posted by SNEAKY
fixed


R O F L M A O !! much better......
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post #14 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-11-2003, 11:31 AM
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Re: Re: Re: Girl Poem

Quote:
Originally posted by stangaddict
R O F L M A O !! much better......
thank you.

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post #15 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-12-2003, 08:59 AM
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A guy poem

Quote:
Originally posted by Amber
A poem for us....


Now...a poem for us....

I shave my face.
I can pee standing up.
I'll let you go shopping
Just so you'll shut up.

I can cut my own hair
It doesn't mean I'm a loner.
What good is a massage
If I can't pop a boner?

Go balance the checkbook.
Hell, pump your own gas.
Meanwhile, my friends and I
Will stare at your ass.

Your beauty is fake
And it takes you too long
You have to admit
That your make-up is all wrong.

You should never drive at all
Not at any cost
You could be in your driveway
And still think you're lost.

Sometimes we forget
A stupid old date
And if the strippers look good
We just might get home late.

We love to watch movies
Full of gore and violence
We're learning how to kill you
So the nagging will silence

You make us go bald
With stress, grief, and drama
You are a fucking bitch
And so is your mama.

We say to our friends
Oh yeah, I can get her
You think your sex is good
But your best friend's was better.

I might buy you flowers.
That's as good as it gets.
I'm sorry....I didn't hear you.
I was looking at your tits.

Expressing our feelings
Never did any good.
And if I wanted to hide something,
Believe me, I could.

So please shut your trap.
We're sick of your bitchin'.
Get naked, get pregnant
And get back in the kitchen.
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post #16 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-12-2003, 09:25 AM
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Thumbs up

rotflmfao

.(OBAMA) One Big Ass Mistake America
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post #17 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-12-2003, 09:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by SNEAKY
rotflmfao
Thanks. I knew you would appreciate it.
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post #18 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-12-2003, 09:30 AM
Lifer
 
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damn, I like the guys poem better. LOL

Quote:
Originally posted by halo/horns
Marie... I think you are perfect
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post #19 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-12-2003, 09:42 AM
Lifer
 
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Posts: 1,063
Re: A guy poem

Quote:
Originally posted by jluv
Now...a poem for us....

I shave my face.
I can pee standing up.
I'll let you go shopping
Just so you'll shut up.

I can cut my own hair
It doesn't mean I'm a loner.
What good is a massage
If I can't pop a boner?

Go balance the checkbook.
Hell, pump your own gas.
Meanwhile, my friends and I
Will stare at your ass.

Your beauty is fake
And it takes you too long
You have to admit
That your make-up is all wrong.

You should never drive at all
Not at any cost
You could be in your driveway
And still think you're lost.

Sometimes we forget
A stupid old date
And if the strippers look good
We just might get home late.

We love to watch movies
Full of gore and violence
We're learning how to kill you
So the nagging will silence

You make us go bald
With stress, grief, and drama
You are a fucking bitch
And so is your mama.

We say to our friends
Oh yeah, I can get her
You think your sex is good
But your best friend's was better.

I might buy you flowers.
That's as good as it gets.
I'm sorry....I didn't hear you.
I was looking at your tits.

Expressing our feelings
Never did any good.
And if I wanted to hide something,
Believe me, I could.

So please shut your trap.
We're sick of your bitchin'.
Get naked, get pregnant
And get back in the kitchen.

BRAVO! *clap clap* BRAVO!

Regarding Slo3gt:

Quote:
Originally Posted by SS Junk View Post
Whining about someone disclosing their salary on a message forum usually leads to said whiner being a broke dick. If you don't like it, go elsewhere.
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post #20 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-12-2003, 09:47 AM
Ted
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Re: A guy poem

Quote:
Originally posted by jluv
Now...a poem for us....

I shave my face.
I can pee standing up.
I'll let you go shopping
Just so you'll shut up.

I can cut my own hair
It doesn't mean I'm a loner.
What good is a massage
If I can't pop a boner?

Go balance the checkbook.
Hell, pump your own gas.
Meanwhile, my friends and I
Will stare at your ass.

Your beauty is fake
And it takes you too long
You have to admit
That your make-up is all wrong.

You should never drive at all
Not at any cost
You could be in your driveway
And still think you're lost.

Sometimes we forget
A stupid old date
And if the strippers look good
We just might get home late.

We love to watch movies
Full of gore and violence
We're learning how to kill you
So the nagging will silence

You make us go bald
With stress, grief, and drama
You are a fucking bitch
And so is your mama.

We say to our friends
Oh yeah, I can get her
You think your sex is good
But your best friend's was better.

I might buy you flowers.
That's as good as it gets.
I'm sorry....I didn't hear you.
I was looking at your tits.

Expressing our feelings
Never did any good.
And if I wanted to hide something,
Believe me, I could.

So please shut your trap.
We're sick of your bitchin'.
Get naked, get pregnant
And get back in the kitchen.
You seem to never disappoint!
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post #21 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-12-2003, 10:57 AM
Lifer
 
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Amber's was better!
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post #22 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-12-2003, 11:05 AM
Merry HoHo
 
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Location: User Id: 30310 Name: SneakyDaPimp
Posts: 32,791
Quote:
Originally posted by jluv
Thanks. I knew you would appreciate it.
Jluv for Prez.

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post #23 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-12-2003, 11:07 AM
Ted
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Quote:
Originally posted by GTChick01
Amber's was better!
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post #24 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-12-2003, 01:40 PM
 
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Thats a good one and it is so TRUE
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post #25 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-12-2003, 07:20 PM
Golf anyone?
 
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LMAO
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post #26 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-12-2003, 07:39 PM
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nice! that was some good poetry jluv.
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post #27 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-13-2003, 07:32 PM
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Great come back jluv. LMAO.

'90 LX fastback 5.0 White with porno red interior. (SLOW PONY)
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post #28 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-13-2003, 07:40 PM
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Thats pretty funny. And if it said that girls are the ones who cant admit to being wrong, it would be true.
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post #29 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-14-2003, 01:19 AM
 
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Posts: 641
Re: A guy poem

Quote:
Originally posted by jluv
Now...a poem for us....

I shave my face.
I can pee standing up.
I'll let you go shopping
Just so you'll shut up.

I can cut my own hair
It doesn't mean I'm a loner.
What good is a massage
If I can't pop a boner?

Go balance the checkbook.
Hell, pump your own gas.
Meanwhile, my friends and I
Will stare at your ass.

Your beauty is fake
And it takes you too long
You have to admit
That your make-up is all wrong.

You should never drive at all
Not at any cost
You could be in your driveway
And still think you're lost.

Sometimes we forget
A stupid old date
And if the strippers look good
We just might get home late.

We love to watch movies
Full of gore and violence
We're learning how to kill you
So the nagging will silence

You make us go bald
With stress, grief, and drama
You are a fucking bitch
And so is your mama.

We say to our friends
Oh yeah, I can get her
You think your sex is good
But your best friend's was better.

I might buy you flowers.
That's as good as it gets.
I'm sorry....I didn't hear you.
I was looking at your tits.

Expressing our feelings
Never did any good.
And if I wanted to hide something,
Believe me, I could.

So please shut your trap.
We're sick of your bitchin'.
Get naked, get pregnant
And get back in the kitchen.
My new hero
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post #30 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-16-2003, 03:53 PM
turn it!
 
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What a hijack! LOL!
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post #31 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-17-2003, 06:41 PM
tex
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Re: Girl Poem

Quote:
Originally posted by Amber


At least I can admit,
to others when I'm wrong.
I call Bullshit.
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post #32 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-17-2003, 06:47 PM
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[family guy]why do girls have boobs? so you have something to look at when you're talking to them![/family guy]

<center>
<a href="http://www.myspace.com/stavelyband"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v519/vanhead/stavelybandicon.gif" border="0" alt="Stavely - The Other White Meat!"></a><br></center>
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post #33 of 33 (permalink) Old 11-22-2003, 03:39 AM
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holy shit, the girls one is old but the guys is awesome....good job, i also like the one about the girls on their knees
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