Texans in Heaven/Hell
Gabriel came to the Lord and said " I have to talk to you. We have some
Texans up here in Heaven who are causing problems. They're swinging on
the pearly gates, my horn is missing, barbeque sauce is all over their
robes, their dogs are riding in the chariots, and they're wearing
baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos. They refuse to
keep the stairway to Heaven clean. There are watermelon seeds and pig
feet bones all over the place. Some of them are walking around with just
The Lord said, "I made them special, Gabriel. Heaven is Home to all my
children. If you really want to know about real problems, let's call
The Devil answered the phone, " Hello? Damn, hold on a minute."
The Devil returned to the phone, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for
The Lord replied, "I just want to know what kind of problems you're
having down there."
The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something."
After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said, "I'm
back. Now what was the question?"
The Lord said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?"
The Devil said, "Man, I dont believe this....Hold on, Lord."
This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said ,
"I'm sorry Lord, I can't talk right now. Them damn Texans done put out
the fire and are trying to install air conditioning."