Wal-Mart Application - DFWstangs Forums
 
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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-27-2003, 11:18 AM Thread Starter
hip hop since '82
 
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Wal-Mart Application

wal-mart
WAL-MART Job Application:
> > > > > This is an actual job application > > > > that a 17 year old
boy
> > > > > submitted to a Wal-Mart in Florida... And they hired him
because
> > > > > he was so honest and funny!
>
>NAME: Greg Bulmash.
>
>SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person
>(or one who'll cooperate).
>
>DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But
>seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be
>picky,I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
>
>DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
>style severance package. If that's not possible, make a offer and we
can
>haggle.
>
>EDUCATION: Yes.
>
>LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
>
>SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
>
>MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection o! f stolen
>pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
>
>HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
>
>PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p. m. Monday, Tuesday, and
>Thursday.
>
>DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:Yes, but they're better suited to a
more
>intimate environment.
>
>MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:If I had one, wouldn't I be
there?
>
>DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING UP
>TO 50 Lbs.?:Of what?
>
>DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question
>here would be, "Do you have a car that runs?"
>
>HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be
>winner of the Publishers
>Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
>
>DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
>
>WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:Living in the Bahamas
with a
>fabulously wealthy, dumb, sexy,
>blonde supermodel who thinks I'M The Greatest Thing since
>sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doi! ng that now.
>DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE ANDCOMPLETE TO T HE BEST OF YOUR
>KNOWLEDGE?:Yes. Absolutely.
>
>SIGN HERE: Aries.
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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-27-2003, 11:32 AM
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So when did you fill that application out, Naynay?

Mir
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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-27-2003, 11:36 AM Thread Starter
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All names were changed to protect the...
<-----innocent
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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-27-2003, 11:41 AM
Lifer
 
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Do a search on McDonalds Job application or others. This guy get's around.
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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-27-2003, 11:48 AM
No, I don't have a turbo
 
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Funny, but not factual.

Can't ask this-

Quote:
>DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be, "Do you have a car that runs?"

Otherwise a funny read. Back when we were testing out a new hiring kiosk at my former employer, we had to fill out mock applications. Most just applied as if it were their own application. I however took creative liberty and made mine one to remember.

Punxsutawney Jesus, Illuminati Elitist
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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-27-2003, 01:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by TurboTodd
Funny, but not factual.

Can't ask this-




Otherwise a funny read. Back when we were testing out a new hiring kiosk at my former employer, we had to fill out mock applications. Most just applied as if it were their own application. I however took creative liberty and made mine one to remember.


I dont think you can ask if they smoke either.
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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-27-2003, 02:01 PM
who cares
 
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LOL, true some of those questions you can't ask..
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-27-2003, 06:31 PM
Lifer
 
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Quote:
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:Living in the Bahamas with a
>fabulously wealthy, dumb, sexy,
>blonde supermodel who thinks I'M The Greatest Thing since
>sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
Now thats what I'm talking about!!!!!

Put your applications in now ladies!!!!!
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-27-2003, 06:39 PM
Lifer
 
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pretty damn funny
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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-27-2003, 06:53 PM
Yes I'm...
 
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I remember being asked if I had a car on a job application when i was 16.

'98 Camaro SS: Incon twin turbo. Sold
'99 Camaro SS: Heads/cam/bolt-ons. Sold.
'91 Camaro RS: Stock.

2010 Camaro SS: Hell yes.
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post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-27-2003, 07:17 PM
not exclude
 
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They ask if you "Have a reliable means of transportation."
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post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-27-2003, 07:19 PM
Lifer
 
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I've always just read it as "Reliabe Transportation".

Grant
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post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-27-2003, 08:51 PM
not exclude
 
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Same difference?
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post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-27-2003, 09:12 PM
No, I don't have a turbo
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by exlude
Same difference?
Not really. They can ask if you have reliable transportation to work, or "how do you plan to get to work". They can't ask if you have a car.

As long as they have some way to get to work is what the question is aimed at. Can't ask ages either, only if the applicant is 18 or not.

Punxsutawney Jesus, Illuminati Elitist
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post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-27-2003, 10:28 PM
 
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thats awesome im think about putting in an application and see what they say
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post #16 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-07-2003, 09:20 AM
Lifer
 
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Now ain't that the truth..
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