2003 might be a redneck.
> 2003 Version of You Know You're A Redneck If.....
> * You take your dog for a walk and you both use the
> same tree.
> * You can entertain yourself for more than 15
> minutes with a fly swatter.
> * Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
> * You burn your yard rather than mow it.
> * You think the "Nutcracker" is something you did
> off the high dive.
> * The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
> * You offer to give someone the shirt off your back
> and they don't want it.
> * You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
> * You come back from the dump with more than you
> * You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
> * Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
> * Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
> * You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
> * You've been involved in a custody fight over a
> hunting dog.
> * You go to the stock car races and don't need a
> * You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
> * You have a rag for a gas cap.
> * Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck
> * You wonder how service stations keep their rest
> rooms so clean.
> * You can spit without opening your mouth.
> * You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
> * Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
> * You have a complete set of salad bowls and they
> all say 'Cool Whip" on the
> * The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.
> * Your working TV sits on top of your non-working
> * You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
> * A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a
> $100,000 worth of improvements.
> * You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
> * You missed your 5th grade graduation because you
> were on jury duty.
> And last, but not least... My Personal favorite
> *You consider your license plate personalized
> because your father made it.