A newlywed couple had only been married for a few weeks. The
husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to get out
on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he says to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, coochy-coo...?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face, to have a beer."
The wife says, "You want a beer, my love?" She opens the door
to the refrigerator and shows him 25 different brands of beers
from 12 different countries. The husband didn't know what to
The only thing that he could to say was, "Yes, but at the
bar...you know ...they have...frozen mugs."
He didn't get to finish the sentence. The wife interrupted him,
saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She opened the
freezer and handed him a frozen solid mug.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll,
but at the bar they have those special hors d'oeuvres that are
really delicious... won't be too long...I'll be right back...
I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochy poo?" She opened the oven
and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: spicy
chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, fried mushrooms, pork
strips, cheese dip, the works.
"But sweetie, at the bar...you know...the guys are cussing and
Before he could finish, the wife replies, "You want cussing
and swearing, cutie pie?"
"THEN LISTEN UP, DICKHEAD! DRINK YOUR FUCKIN BEER IN THIS
GODDAMN FROZEN MUG, AND EAT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING SNACKS, BECAUSE
YOU AREN'T GOING OUT WITH YOUR SHITHEAD FRIENDS ANYMORE! YOU
GOT THAT, ASSHOLE???"