20 ways to maintain your insanity - DFWstangs Forums
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-06-2003, 02:05 PM Thread Starter
Time Served
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20 ways to maintain your insanity

20. For your lunch, sit in your car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer
>at passing cars to see if they will slow down.
>19. Page yourself over the intercom and don't disguise your voice.
>18. When someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with it.
>17. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"
>16. In the memo field of your checks write "For Sexual Favors"
>15. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
>14. Don't use any punctuation.
>13. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go."
>12. Sing along at the opera.
>11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
>10. Install mosquito netting around your work space or cube and play
>tropical sounds all day.
>9. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
>because you're "Not In The Mood."
>8. As often as possible, Skip rather than Walk.
>7. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
>6. Have your co-workers address you by your WWE ring name ... Rock Hard.
>5. When leaving the zoo, start running and screaming, "run for your lives,
>they're loose!"
>4. Tell your children over dinner that "Due to the economy, we're going to
>have to let one of you go!"
>3. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 WEEKS. Once everyone has gotten over
>their Caffeine Addiction, switch to ESPRESSO!
>2. When the money comes out of the ATM machine, yell "I Won, I Won."
>1. Send this e-mail to somebody to make them smile. Its called THERAPY!
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-06-2003, 03:51 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,401
More ways to maintain....

1 ) Insist that your e mail address is: [email protected]
2 ) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronize chair dancing.
3) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
4) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think.
5) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
6) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfit. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.)
7) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what your doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, Stall #3."
8) Put one of your coworkers chair in the elevator when they are not looking.
9) Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.
10) Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.
11) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me its the voices in your head that do."
12) Every time you see a broom, yell "Honey, your mother is here!
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-06-2003, 05:40 PM
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-06-2003, 10:53 PM
Life is better boosted
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Location: Heart of Texas
Posts: 1,702
those are very interesting, going to have to try some of 'em
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-07-2003, 12:27 AM
whiteboy loves sausage
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: where i'm at
Posts: 1,569
thats some funny stuff

dont run from me you will only die tired.

Because when itís for keeps, itís not the thought that counts but the number of rounds on target.

arrogance is a common side effect of succeeding at everthing you do.
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