Chick with no arms and no legs
Okay, this is an old one, and it may have even been posted here before, but here goes anyway..........
This guy is jogging down the beach when he passes a young lady with no arms and no legs, laying on a beach towel, crying her eyes out.
He feels bad, goes back to her and asks her why she's crying.
She says "Well, I got no arms and no legs, nobody likes me, and hell, I ain't even been hugged before."
So the kind gentleman picks her up, gives her a big hug, sets her back down on her towel, and turns to jog away. Before he makes it ten feet, he hears her sobbing even louder. So again, he turns around.
He says "Well, now you've been hugged, so why are you still sad?"
She replies "Well, the hug was nice, but I've never been kissed before either."
So the kind jogger picks up the legless, armless, crying lady and gives her a rather passionate kiss. He then says "There, now you've been kissed, so have a nice day" and he begins to jog away again.
But the stump of a woman is now balling and wailing uncontrollably. This time the jogger says rather sternly "Look, thanks to me you've now been hugged, and you've been kissed. So what is the problem?"
She says, "Well, The hug was nice and so was the kiss, but poor me, I've never ever been fucked before."
So the jogger picks her up, tosses her into the ocean, and yells "There! Now you're fucked!"