Guys vs Girls oil changes... - DFWstangs Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-05-2003, 10:52 PM Thread Starter
Hamilton Racing Ownz U
 
STROKD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: If you can't beat em, join em!!!
Posts: 10,712
Wink Guys vs Girls oil changes...

Can across this tonight and thought it was funny....

Oil Changing Instructions for Women:

1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3,000 since the last oil change.
2. Drink a cup of coffee.
3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent:

$20.00 for oil change
$1.00 for coffee.

TOTAL: $21.00


Oil Change Instructions for Men:

1. Go to store, spend $30.00 for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree.
2. Get home to discover that the used oil container is full.
3. Instead of taking it to local repair garage for recycling, dump in hole in back yard.
4. Open a beer and drink it.
5. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
6. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
7. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
8. Place drain pan under engine.
9. Look for 9/16th box end wrench.
10. give up and use crescent wrench.
11. Unscrew drain plug.
12. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil ; get hot oil on you in process.
13. Clean up mess.
14. Have another beer while watching oil drain.
15. Look for oil filter wrench.
16. Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist off.
17. Beer.
18. Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
19. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
20. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
21. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
22. Walk to 7 Eleven; buy beer.
23. Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
24. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
25. Remember drain plug from step 12.
26. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
27. Discover that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard, along with drain plug.
28. Drink Beer.
29. Uncover hole and sift for drain plug.
30. Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor.
31. Drink beer.
32. Slip with wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
33. Bang head on floor boards in reaction to step 32.
34. Begin cussing a fit.
35. Throw wrench.
36. Swear 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss July (1992) in her overabundant chest.
36. Beer.
37. Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
38. Beer.
39. Beer.
40. Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
41. Beer.
42. Lower car from jack stands.
43. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.
44. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during step 24.
45. Beer
46. Test drive car.
47. Get pulled over; arrested for driving under the influence.
48. Car gets impounded.
49. Make bail: Get car from impound yard.

Money spent:

$30.00 parts
$45.00 Beer
$75.00 replacement set of jack stands
$1,000.00 Bail
$200.00 Impound and towing fee

TOTAL: $1,350.00

Sounds like one of my oil change times.

Grey 86 GT - Rebuild pending
Orange 08 Corvette
STROKD is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-05-2003, 10:57 PM
V8driver
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
thats funny. hey i saw u running at sweetheart a while back. u were on slicks. i forgot whut u were running but they got u out the hole, but u raped em in the long run. i think it was u. u got boost right?
post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-05-2003, 11:06 PM Thread Starter
Hamilton Racing Ownz U
 
STROKD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: If you can't beat em, join em!!!
Posts: 10,712
Quote:
Originally posted by V8driver
thats funny. hey i saw u running at sweetheart a while back. u were on slicks. i forgot whut u were running but they got u out the hole, but u raped em in the long run. i think it was u. u got boost right?
LMAO yes I have boost, and yes I get raped out of the hole... Was it the Red Camaro or the Black Cobra? I hung better off the line with the Cobra.

Grey 86 GT - Rebuild pending
Orange 08 Corvette
STROKD is offline  
 
post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-05-2003, 11:10 PM
V8driver
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
not sure which car, but i saw you blow by him at the end. one of my homies said you are running a widetrim(think that is right) that car is pretty tight. i bet u are the king of highway racing... well around here.
post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-05-2003, 11:11 PM
Your Real DAD
 
superlopez's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Prowlin the streets,with my FUNNY friend. In good ol Checkaho,TX AKA GARLAND BITCH
Posts: 4,724
Thumbs up

lmao
superlopez is offline  
post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-05-2003, 11:15 PM Thread Starter
Hamilton Racing Ownz U
 
STROKD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: If you can't beat em, join em!!!
Posts: 10,712
Quote:
Originally posted by V8driver
not sure which car, but i saw you blow by him at the end. one of my homies said you are running a widetrim(think that is right) that car is pretty tight. i bet u are the king of highway racing... well around here.
It is a YS-trim, not widetrim, but yes it holds it own on the freeway, which is what I built the car for.

Thanks for the compliments.

I have a race lined up in a few weeks with some dude from Nebraska. He says he has a 03 Cobra with a 115 dry shot into a 21 psi K/B blower, and is expecting high 8s at Clash at the end of the month... I think he is a little high, but hell I don't care, it's all in fun. He wants some good runs, maybe Andrew will chime on and save the day for BSR.

Grey 86 GT - Rebuild pending
Orange 08 Corvette
STROKD is offline  
post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-05-2003, 11:16 PM
V8driver
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally posted by STROKD
It is a YS-trim, not widetrim, but yes it holds it own on the freeway, which is what I built the car for.

Thanks for the compliments.

I have a race lined up in a few weeks with some dude from Nebraska. He says he has a 03 Cobra with a 115 dry shot into a 21 psi K/B blower, and is expecting high 8s at Clash at the end of the month... I think he is a little high, but hell I don't care, it's all in fun. He wants some good runs, maybe Andrew will chime on and save the day for BSR.
where are yall gonna run? at the track? or on the street/highway?
post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-05-2003, 11:21 PM Thread Starter
Hamilton Racing Ownz U
 
STROKD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: If you can't beat em, join em!!!
Posts: 10,712
Quote:
Originally posted by V8driver
where are yall gonna run? at the track? or on the street/highway?
LOL Freeway, 50-150, he has an auto or I would go till he let out.

Grey 86 GT - Rebuild pending
Orange 08 Corvette
STROKD is offline  
post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-05-2003, 11:31 PM
whiteboy loves sausage
 
DmDakota's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: where i'm at
Posts: 1,569
old



dont run from me you will only die tired.

Because when itís for keeps, itís not the thought that counts but the number of rounds on target.

arrogance is a common side effect of succeeding at everthing you do.
DmDakota is offline  
post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-05-2003, 11:31 PM
V8driver
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally posted by STROKD
LOL Freeway, 50-150, he has an auto or I would go till he let out.
hes got an auto and is gonna run to 150? i hope thats a good built tranny with a radiator size tranny cooler
post #11 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-05-2003, 11:32 PM
V8driver
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally posted by 95gtaod
old
okay.......
post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-06-2003, 08:29 AM
Lifer
 
Peep's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 6,593
Thumbs down

Quote:
Originally posted by 95gtaod
old
Some of the pictures posted are funny, but the fact that you actually created this one yourself (probably with a loaded/cocked gun and the safety off) is disturbing.
Peep is offline  
post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-06-2003, 09:43 AM
time is never served
 
76 Maverick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: denton
Posts: 2,731
LOL!!!! this is an olllllllllllllllldddddddd one but still funny.
76 Maverick is offline  
post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-06-2003, 09:53 AM
Custom User Title:
 
Tommy Tutone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Live Bait Sold Here!
Posts: 3,329
Quote:
Originally posted by STROKD
It is a YS-trim, not widetrim, but yes it holds it own on the freeway, which is what I built the car for.

Thanks for the compliments.

I have a race lined up in a few weeks with some dude from Nebraska. He says he has a 03 Cobra with a 115 dry shot into a 21 psi K/B blower, and is expecting high 8s at Clash at the end of the month... I think he is a little high, but hell I don't care, it's all in fun. He wants some good runs, maybe Andrew will chime on and save the day for BSR.
Seeing how 03' Cobra's didn't come with automatics, this guys car is prolly sick. I know for a fact that an 03' Cobra with the K/B blower and a 75 shot will run in the high 9's. Pete Misinciky(sp?) 03 Cobra has been 9.80's with the exact set-up and less nitrous. Just keep your eyes open. There may be an exact reason he wants to run from a 50 punch.

For a good time, call.........867-5309.
Ask for Jenny!
Tommy Tutone is offline  
post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-06-2003, 11:10 AM
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 420
thats very tru lol
97slowbra is offline  
post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-06-2003, 11:24 AM
Ultimate X-phoria
 
Hollywood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Not now chief, i'm in the fuckin zone
Posts: 19,895
wrong forum
Hollywood is offline  
post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-06-2003, 11:41 AM
Lifer
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: denison tx
Posts: 6,783
THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN TO ME, MY JOB DOES OIL CHANGES FOR $12.99,
6695 is offline  
post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-06-2003, 10:35 PM
V8driver
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally posted by Tommy Tutone
Seeing how 03' Cobra's didn't come with automatics, this guys car is prolly sick. I know for a fact that an 03' Cobra with the K/B blower and a 75 shot will run in the high 9's. Pete Misinciky(sp?) 03 Cobra has been 9.80's with the exact set-up and less nitrous. Just keep your eyes open. There may be an exact reason he wants to run from a 50 punch.
look at the post towards the middle he says it has an auto... read before you talk

ttt
post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-07-2003, 12:36 AM
Time Served
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 249
LOL SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT!!
TNT90GT is offline  
post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-08-2003, 10:51 AM
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 154
Why should he have to worry though? Don't manuals usually have a lot better top-end than auto's anyways? Also, if you take into consideration that matt's car is built for the highway/top-end type racing, and was able to reel in that bike that he posted about racing...that, his car should be able to take, if not give a 9-second car a damn good run on the highway. I'm pretty sure his car pulls 50-150 like most heavily modded 5.0s, ls1's pull 0-60. I would think that if he would get some sticky tires under hisi car, and a good launch, and the driver mod, his car would be more than capable of knocking on 9's. Thinking about the fact that he's run 11.20's at over 130mph? And, I saw him run at Fun Ford, and he had like a 9 second 1/8th mile, with an 11.xx 1/4 mile? That has got to show you right there, once his car gets moving/traction, it's gonna be capable of fuckin' some shit up
FordGuy302 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome