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post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-01-2003, 02:28 AM Thread Starter
Good times
 
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good ol' Texas

Storming into his lawyer's office, a Texas oil magnate demanded
that divorce proceedings begin at once against his young bride.

"What's the problem?"

"I want to hit that adulterin' bitch for breach of contract,"
snapped the oil man.

"I don't know if that will fly," said the lawyer. "I mean your
wife isn't a piece of property, you don't own her!"

"Damn right," the tycoon rejoined, "but I sure as hell expect
exclusive drillin' rights!"
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post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-01-2003, 05:59 AM
wishin i had a fast car
 
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post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-01-2003, 10:21 AM
Rebel Without A Cause
 
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kinda corny but funny



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post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-01-2003, 03:47 PM
Where's he at?
 
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Yep thats pretty corny, but still made me laugh

L P C
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User Id: 23544

Last edited by SSkiller88; 08-01-2003 at 03:53 PM.
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post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-01-2003, 09:58 PM
who cares
 
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thats silly..
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post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-02-2003, 10:41 PM
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LOL!
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post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-04-2003, 08:07 PM
 
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Two men from Abilene were driving along I-20 to Dallas, when they saw a man on the side of the road hitchhiking. The passenger said to his buddy, "hey you think we should give him a ride?", to that the driver said," yeah, guess so, it's a hundred degrees out here, and there ain't nothing around for miles on in". So they pull over , and pick the man up, They told him, "get in the back seat there". So they commence to driving east, when about two miles down the road, the hitchhiker says to them, "guys, I really am sorry, but do you think you can pull over I need to shit really bad!!". The driver turns around and says," well man, we have to be in Dallas in two hours, and we don't have a whole lot of time, so why don't you just hang your ass out the window, so we can keep rollin'?". In urgency , the man unzips his britches, and hangs his cheeks out the window expelling the runniest of craps most people have ever seen. A moment later , two guys on a two-passenger motorcycle pull up behind them on the interstate getting ready to pass, when all the shit hits the windshield on their Honda Goldwing, forcing them to lay it over in a bar ditch. The two men got up, dusted themselves off and picked the bike up, and one of them says to the other," hey Earl, what kind of tobacco is that on our windshield?". In response Billy Bob says, " I don't know, but did you see the lips on that mother fucker?".
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post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-05-2003, 08:37 PM
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This has to be the most retarded joke i've ever heard! Next time make it your own post!!

Quote:
Originally posted by RiceMuncher
Two men from Abilene were driving along I-20 to Dallas, when they saw a man on the side of the road hitchhiking. The passenger said to his buddy, "hey you think we should give him a ride?", to that the driver said," yeah, guess so, it's a hundred degrees out here, and there ain't nothing around for miles on in". So they pull over , and pick the man up, They told him, "get in the back seat there". So they commence to driving east, when about two miles down the road, the hitchhiker says to them, "guys, I really am sorry, but do you think you can pull over I need to shit really bad!!". The driver turns around and says," well man, we have to be in Dallas in two hours, and we don't have a whole lot of time, so why don't you just hang your ass out the window, so we can keep rollin'?". In urgency , the man unzips his britches, and hangs his cheeks out the window expelling the runniest of craps most people have ever seen. A moment later , two guys on a two-passenger motorcycle pull up behind them on the interstate getting ready to pass, when all the shit hits the windshield on their Honda Goldwing, forcing them to lay it over in a bar ditch. The two men got up, dusted themselves off and picked the bike up, and one of them says to the other," hey Earl, what kind of tobacco is that on our windshield?". In response Billy Bob says, " I don't know, but did you see the lips on that mother fucker?".

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post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-05-2003, 08:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by BLACK96STROKER
This has to be the most retarded joke i've ever heard! Next time make it your own post!!
Duly noted, you as well should create a post of your own, entitle it: The Grumpy Section
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post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-05-2003, 08:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by RiceMuncher
Duly noted, you as well should create a post of your own, entitle it: The Grumpy Section
You should create one saying Window Licking Newbie here!
To many mods to list on that 02 huh? Can you name a few for me.....
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post #11 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-05-2003, 09:07 PM
 
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Whats the big deal? I believe you were new to this site at one time Mr. Veteran . As far as my ride goes, since I have family who own and operate the dealership where I get ALL my Mustangs at, I believe I get too much free stuff to worry about listing. I'm not here to argue, just having a good time here...
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post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-05-2003, 09:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by RiceMuncher
Whats the big deal? I believe you were new to this site at one time Mr. Veteran . As far as my ride goes, since I have family who own and operate the dealership where I get ALL my Mustangs at, I believe I get too much free stuff to worry about listing. I'm not here to argue, just having a good time here...
Im just giving you a hard time man, i'm pretty new myself, just a post whore.
You can't get very many aftermarket good parts for a 2V at the dealership.....

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post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-05-2003, 10:28 PM
 
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lol, ok, you got me..
and no, you can't get everything good from a dealership. My dad is friends with a guy who owns a racing shop where he lives, and he gives us stuff for like 3/4 off the cost, because we supply his buisness with Ford vans....
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post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-06-2003, 07:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by RiceMuncher
lol, ok, you got me..
and no, you can't get everything good from a dealership. My dad is friends with a guy who owns a racing shop where he lives, and he gives us stuff for like 3/4 off the cost, because we supply his buisness with Ford vans....
ahhh, we'll have to line them up one day. I have a turd 96.

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post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-06-2003, 12:29 PM
 
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yeah!
..If I could get the thing set right, we just put a bigger engine in it two weeks ago, and are just getting it tuned right, ( gave my brother my old one to put in his old v-6) had to go in and redo everything to make room in mine
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post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-07-2003, 12:42 AM
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LOL!
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post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-07-2003, 07:04 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by RiceMuncher
yeah!
..If I could get the thing set right, we just put a bigger engine in it two weeks ago, and are just getting it tuned right, ( gave my brother my old one to put in his old v-6) had to go in and redo everything to make room in mine
wow, what bigger engine. 5.4??

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post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-07-2003, 07:47 AM
 
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it's a 5.0l/ 302 Gt-40 alum. head long block. (replaced the heads)
and it was slightly a bitch to get in to say the least...
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post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-07-2003, 07:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by RiceMuncher
it's a 5.0l/ 302 Gt-40 alum. head long block. (replaced the heads)
and it was slightly a bitch to get in to say the least...
Why did you put that in a brand new car??

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post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-07-2003, 08:22 AM
 
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long story short, it was blowing oil out near the bottom of the engine, and the cam somehow got fucked up, and Dad got tired of me bitching about how warranty work wouldn't apply to me since I had all the mod work done to it, then my brother made a comment about how I should just get our friend at the parts place to get me a new block and parts and put a new one together, and in the process, rebuild my other engine.. well, after having them both out and looking at them, I decided that my car would be a little faster with this new one in it, ( plus it looked meaner sitting out ..lol) then I figured I could make my brother happy by letting him put my old one in his car for a small price, and make a little gas money out of him, and thats what we did....and it does run a little better than my old one. The only thing that sucked tit was having to drive Dads other ride while mine was sitting in the garage.. a '70 Datsun p.o.s. pickup

Last edited by RiceMuncher; 08-07-2003 at 08:42 AM.
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post #21 of 21 (permalink) Old 08-07-2003, 06:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by RiceMuncher
having to drive Dads other ride while mine was sitting in the garage.. a '70 Datsun pickup

Sweet
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