The Most Offensive World Records!! - DFWstangs Forums
 
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post #1 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-30-2003, 05:46 PM Thread Starter
Time Served
 
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The Most Offensive World Records!!

MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED
>> > >>>> Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her
>> > >>>> stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.
>> > >>>>
>> > >>>> LONGEST PUBES
>> > >>>> Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches
>> > >>>> from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina.
>> > >>>>
>> > >>>> MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH
>> > >>>> Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation,
>> > >>>> completely insert a lubricated American football into her
>> > >>>> vagina.
>> > >>>>
>> > >>>> ZITS
>> > >>>> In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a
>> > >>>> zit and projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a
>> distanceof 7ft 1inch.
>> > >>>>
>> > >>>> WORST DRINK
>> > >>>> The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage
>> > >>>> and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by
>> > >>>> Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and
>> > >>>> consists of a small amount of still-warm
>> > >>>> very recently attained bull semen. It is believed to be a
>> > >>>> potent aphrodisiac.
>> > >>>>
>> > >>>> MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL
>> > >>>> This is available from a few select bars in New
>> > >>>> York. It contains tomato juice, a double shot of
>> > >>>> vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of
>> > >>>> lime. It is not mixed,but served with a tampon(unused)
>> insteadof a cocktail umbrella and is known as a 'C*nt
Pump'.
>> > >>>>
>> > >>>> GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN
>> > >>>> Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a 'substantial'
>> > >>>> amount of seminal fluid. He also hold the records
>> > >>>> for the greatest height (12 ft 4in) and the
>> > >>>> greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with
>> > >>>> 42.7mph.
>> > >>>>
>> > >>>> LONGEST TURD
>> > >>>> The longest dump ever verified was produced by an
>> > >>>> American, who produced a 'staggering turd' over a
>> > >>>> period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured
>> > >>>> at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms
>> > >>>> in his state.
>> > >>>>
>> > >>>> MOST PROLONGED FART
>> > >>>> Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for
>> > >>>> an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.
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post #2 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-30-2003, 06:54 PM
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In regards to the turd....thats just not right!



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post #3 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-30-2003, 09:03 PM
wishin i had a fast car
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by ndforspd24
In regards to the turd....thats just not right!

Can you say courtsey flush.
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post #4 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-30-2003, 10:58 PM
Blue5spd's a titty baby
 
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I've seen these amazing records before and heard about them on the radio. I still don't belive they are all true, it'd be cool if they were though. Oh and the big turd guy was supposedly banned from most of the public restrooms in his home town for clogging the shitters.
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post #5 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-30-2003, 11:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by cool cat
Oh and the big turd guy was supposedly banned from most of the public restrooms in his home town for clogging the shitters.
So how many crappers are there in Bedford?
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post #6 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-30-2003, 11:56 PM
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lol



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post #7 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-30-2003, 11:58 PM
Your Real DAD
 
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Awesome
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post #8 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-31-2003, 12:02 AM
not exclude
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by cool cat
I've seen these amazing records before and heard about them on the radio. I still don't belive they are all true, it'd be cool if they were though. Oh and the big turd guy was supposedly banned from most of the public restrooms in his home town for clogging the shitters.
thx for letting us know, because it didnt say that in the original post
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post #9 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-31-2003, 12:38 AM
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that is some nasty shit!!
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post #10 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-31-2003, 12:39 AM
Blue5spd's a titty baby
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by exlude
thx for letting us know, because it didnt say that in the original post
Sorry I posted without rereading them.
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post #11 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-31-2003, 12:41 AM
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thats some nasty ass stuff.
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post #12 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-31-2003, 11:08 AM
 
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Red face

trying to picture someone measuring how fast someone is jacking off. radar gun or what. now thats something you dont see everyday.
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post #13 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-31-2003, 11:18 AM
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Quote:
96GTVERT trying to picture someone measuring how fast someone is jacking off. radar gun or what. now thats something you dont see everyday.
can you say Super Troopers?
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post #14 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-31-2003, 11:22 AM
 
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NO SHIT HUH?
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post #15 of 19 (permalink) Old 07-31-2003, 02:33 PM
Lifer
 
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18' 9" ??

pssssh.. amateurs!
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post #16 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-01-2003, 03:01 PM
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man, that turd guy sounds like hes full of shit!!!!
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post #17 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-01-2003, 03:04 PM
Ted
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how bout the football in the snatch. Damn, thats all i can say
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post #18 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-01-2003, 11:56 PM
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Damn that must of circled the toilet 20 times...
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post #19 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-02-2003, 12:40 AM
Where's he at?
 
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I would not want to see or smell that turd

L P C
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