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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-22-2003, 12:55 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 3,787
Airline Humor

GRIPE SHEET:
>
> After every flight, pilots fill out a form
> called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the
> mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft
> during the flight that need repair or correction.
>
>
> The mechanics read and correct the problem, and
> then respond in writing on the lower half of the
> form what remedial action was taken, and the
> pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next
> flight.
>
> Never let it be said that ground crews and
> engineers lack a sense of humour.
>
> Here are some actual logged maintenance
> complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas
> pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance
> engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major
> airline that has never had an accident.
>
> (P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
> (S = The solution and action taken by the
> engineers.)
>
> P: Left inside main tyre almost needs
> replacement.
> S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
>
> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>
> P: Something loose in cockpit.
> S: Something tightened in cockpit.
>
> P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> S: Live bugs on back-order.
>
> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
> feet per minute descent.
> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>
> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> S: Evidence removed.
>
> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>
> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> S: That's what they're there for.
>
> P: IFF inoperative.
> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>
> P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> S: Suspect you're right.
>
> P: Number 3 engine missing.
> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>
>
> P: Aircraft handles funny.
> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right,
> and be serious.
>
> P: Target radar hums.
> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
>
> P: Mouse in cockpit.
> S: Cat installed.
>
> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
> Sounds like a midget pounding on something with
> a hammer.
> S: Took hammer away from midget.
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-22-2003, 01:03 PM
Time Served
 
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those are pretty funny
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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-22-2003, 01:26 PM
Lost in suburbia HELLLLLL
 
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That was really funny

roflmao

93gt boss block, 185 cnc trick flow heads, undisclosed cam specs, YS trim, saleen intake nice and shiny. car is spotted primer currently


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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-22-2003, 01:39 PM
 
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LMAO! That was good.
kiLLj0y is offline  
post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-22-2003, 01:44 PM
silveroush281
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funny
post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-22-2003, 03:16 PM
Golf anyone?
 
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Re: Airline Humor

Quote:
Originally posted by Tweakd
GRIPE SHEET:
> P: Aircraft handles funny.
> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right,
> and be serious.
That's great..hahahahahahahah..you get it..hahahahaha....Fly right..hahaha...it's plane...haha..fly right....nevermind.
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-22-2003, 06:52 PM
I wish I were cool...
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Austin
Posts: 722
Last time I read those it said Air Force pilots... Makes you wonder if they are true or just funnies.

The Cobra has run a best of 13.58 ET finally 104 mph on stock engine, no blowers, no turbos, no NOS! Note I said HAS run, now it sits on bald tires in the driveway, but the speedometer and A/C work again!!! 2003.5 Mazdaspeed Protege Zoom, Zoom, Zoom... It's turboed I get three Zooms biatch!!!!

Hey baby... how about a little Boom Boom in my Zoom Zoom?
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-22-2003, 08:19 PM
V8driver
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jason94Cobra
Last time I read those it said Air Force pilots... Makes you wonder if they are true or just funnies.
i saw those too
post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-23-2003, 02:13 PM
wishin i had a fast car
 
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Denison
Posts: 4,643
those are funny
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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-24-2003, 06:28 PM
Still got Nothing
 
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Good stuff.
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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-25-2003, 10:51 AM
 
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I am in the air force and yes those types of write ups are true.
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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-25-2003, 11:39 AM
Lifer
 
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Location: Fort Worth
Posts: 14,251
That sounds like something I would do as an aircraft mechanic.
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post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-27-2003, 09:56 PM
Rebel Without A Cause
 
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Location: Texas
Posts: 1,364
thats great stuff!



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post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-07-2003, 01:03 AM
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LOL!
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