A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot
sitting on a little Perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this Parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective
"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood
and answered me!"
"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a
highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."
"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do
you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing
but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and
speak English can't you?" "Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics,
philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You
really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I
just can't afford that." "Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20,just make
the guy an offer!" The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The
guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot
goes, "psssssssssssst," and motions him over with on wing. "I don't know if should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman." "What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife
greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie and ! kissed him
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted
up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.
"Oh No!," he exclaims. "Then what?" "Then he lifted up
the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over,
starting with her breasts and slowly going down...."
"WELL," demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my