The Parrot - DFWstangs Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-15-2003, 06:22 PM Thread Starter
Ted
Opulance. I has it.
 
Ted's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Las Irving
Posts: 13,034
The Parrot

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot
sitting on a little Perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this Parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective
parrot."
"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood
and answered me!"
"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a
highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."
"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do
you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing
but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and
speak English can't you?" "Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics,
philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You
really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I
just can't afford that." "Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20,just make
the guy an offer!" The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The
guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot
goes, "psssssssssssst," and motions him over with on wing. "I don't know if should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman." "What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife
greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie and ! kissed him
passionately."
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what
happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted
up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.
"Oh No!," he exclaims. "Then what?" "Then he lifted up
the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over,
starting with her breasts and slowly going down...."
"WELL," demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my
perch!
Ted is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-15-2003, 08:56 PM
wishin i had a fast car
 
lee earley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Denison
Posts: 4,643
very long but funny
lee earley is offline  
post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-16-2003, 05:38 PM
Golf anyone?
 
dan962000's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Pullin' wool, one sheep at a time.
Posts: 3,593
More on parrots.

This farmer has a parrot the keeps fucking his chickens. So his says to the parrot "If I catch you fucking those chickens one more time, I'm gonna shave you bald and send to to church."

So he comes out the next day and sure enough, there's the parrot. So he shaves him bald and it's off to church.

The parrot is sitting way up high in the rafters when he sees 3 bald guys walk in. He yells "Hey you chicken-fuckers, up here."
dan962000 is offline  
 
post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-20-2003, 08:55 PM
Man, fuck yo kids!
 
molotov cocktail's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: El Pinche Irving
Posts: 2,921
Quote:
Originally posted by dan962000
More on parrots.

This farmer has a parrot the keeps fucking his chickens. So his says to the parrot "If I catch you fucking those chickens one more time, I'm gonna shave you bald and send to to church."

So he comes out the next day and sure enough, there's the parrot. So he shaves him bald and it's off to church.

The parrot is sitting way up high in the rafters when he sees 3 bald guys walk in. He yells "Hey you chicken-fuckers, up here."
hahahaha!!!!!
molotov cocktail is offline  
post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-20-2003, 09:29 PM
Where's he at?
 
SSkiller88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Canton
Posts: 1,715
Love that joke

L P C
marcs30thzdfw
User Id: 23544
SSkiller88 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome