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post #1 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-06-2003, 09:23 PM Thread Starter
 
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Talking The Farmer

A farmer had been unsuccessfully trying to breed his pigs for several months when he finally asked a vet for advice.
The vet told the farmer to try artificial insemination. Not wanting to admit that he didnt understand, the farmer simply asked how he could tell when the pigs were pregnant. The vet explained that the pigs woud all lie down and wallow in the mud instead of standing around.
The farmer gave it some thought and decided that artificial insemination must mean he had to impregnate the pigs himself. That evening, he loaded all the pigs into his truck, took them out to the woods and fucked them all, before bringin them back and going to bed.
The next morning he went out, saw the pigs were still standing around and took them out to the woods again, banging each twice for good measure.
The pig fucking went on for a week, until Saturday, when the farmer was too exhausted to get out of bed. He asked his wife to look outside and tell him if the pigs were lying in the mud yet.
"No," she called back. "They're all in the truck, and one of them's honking the horn."
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post #2 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-06-2003, 09:31 PM Thread Starter
 
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another joke....

Pete and Josh were crossing the Sahara Desert when their camel started getting dehydrated. Luckily, they found an oasis nearby; but for whatever reason, the beast refused to drink.

Suddenly inspiration struck: Pete would hold the camel's head underwater while Josh sucked on its ass-hole so that the water would be drawn into the beast as though through a straw.

They started to try it, but Josh spat, then yelled out, "Pete, lift his head up a little bit. Right now I'm only getting the mud off the bottom."
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post #3 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-06-2003, 09:44 PM Thread Starter
 
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Another....

Michael Jackson and his wife were in the delivery room, talking to their doctor about the birth of their son.
Jackson turned to he doctor and asked, "'Now that she's had the baby, how long until we can have sex?"
The doctor said, "You probably want to wait until he's eight or nine."

-------------------------

What's the difference between a clitoris and a remote control?
A guy will spend considerable time and effort looking for a remote control.
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post #4 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-06-2003, 11:05 PM Thread Starter
 
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well??

What do you think? Stupid, funny, grose, what??
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post #5 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-06-2003, 11:46 PM
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Re: well??

Quote:
Originally posted by GTstanggirl
What do you think? Stupid, funny, grose, what??
1st = LMAO, nice
2nd = NASTY!!!!
3rd = O.K.

thats my analysis
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post #6 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-07-2003, 01:28 AM
 
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1. Funny
2. Gross
3. Funny and Gross
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post #7 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-07-2003, 09:08 AM
wishin i had a fast car
 
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1. hits to close to home for some.
2. glad i'm not in the desert.
3. heard that was a true story.
but all in all they were very funny.
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post #8 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-07-2003, 10:58 AM
 
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Thumbs up

LOL! Good ones!
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post #9 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-07-2003, 11:45 AM Thread Starter
 
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jokes

Would you believe I got these out of 'Hustler".....
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post #10 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-07-2003, 08:21 PM
Golf anyone?
 
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A HA....so you plagerized.... J/K....they are all funny, but definately gross also.
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post #11 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-07-2003, 10:35 PM
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Re: The Farmer

Quote:
Originally posted by GTstanggirl
A farmer had been unsuccessfully trying to breed his pigs for several months when he finally asked a vet for advice.
The vet told the farmer to try artificial insemination. Not wanting to admit that he didnt understand, the farmer simply asked how he could tell when the pigs were pregnant. The vet explained that the pigs woud all lie down and wallow in the mud instead of standing around.
The farmer gave it some thought and decided that artificial insemination must mean he had to impregnate the pigs himself. That evening, he loaded all the pigs into his truck, took them out to the woods and fucked them all, before bringin them back and going to bed.
The next morning he went out, saw the pigs were still standing around and took them out to the woods again, banging each twice for good measure.
The pig fucking went on for a week, until Saturday, when the farmer was too exhausted to get out of bed. He asked his wife to look outside and tell him if the pigs were lying in the mud yet.
"No," she called back. "They're all in the truck, and one of them's honking the horn."
lol great

"Chef Gear head"
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post #12 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-08-2003, 02:10 AM
F=W x A / g
 
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Talking Loved the farmer joke

Made me spit out my beer.
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post #13 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-11-2003, 02:13 AM
Hood Approved.
 
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lmao gross!!!!
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post #14 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-11-2003, 11:43 AM
Time Served
 
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post #15 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-12-2003, 11:16 AM
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i thought that they were pretty damn funny myself.
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post #16 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-12-2003, 01:03 PM
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Thumbs up

good jokes.
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post #17 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-14-2003, 02:25 PM
 
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1-funny
2-funny
and 3 guess what it was funny too
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post #18 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-18-2003, 02:20 PM
Where's he at?
 
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Not bad jokes

L P C
marcs30thzdfw
User Id: 23544
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post #19 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-19-2003, 12:53 AM
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all funny and gross
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post #20 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-19-2003, 06:04 AM
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Something about a chick talking about a guy fucking pigs just really gets me. My kind of girl...

CHL holder and Conservative...AKA "Domestic Terrorist"
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post #21 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-20-2003, 08:36 PM
Man, fuck yo kids!
 
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Re: The Farmer

Quote:
Originally posted by GTstanggirl
A farmer had been unsuccessfully trying to breed his pigs for several months when he finally asked a vet for advice.
The vet told the farmer to try artificial insemination. Not wanting to admit that he didnt understand, the farmer simply asked how he could tell when the pigs were pregnant. The vet explained that the pigs woud all lie down and wallow in the mud instead of standing around.
The farmer gave it some thought and decided that artificial insemination must mean he had to impregnate the pigs himself. That evening, he loaded all the pigs into his truck, took them out to the woods and fucked them all, before bringin them back and going to bed.
The next morning he went out, saw the pigs were still standing around and took them out to the woods again, banging each twice for good measure.
The pig fucking went on for a week, until Saturday, when the farmer was too exhausted to get out of bed. He asked his wife to look outside and tell him if the pigs were lying in the mud yet.
"No," she called back. "They're all in the truck, and one of them's honking the horn."

hahahahaha
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post #22 of 22 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 07:54 PM Thread Starter
 
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ttt

for people who havent read them yet....
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