men vs woman oil change - DFWstangs Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-26-2003, 03:40 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 201
men vs woman oil change

OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR WOMEN:

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the
last oil change.

2) Drink a cup of coffee.

3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained
vehicle.
Money spent:
Oil Change $20.00
Coffee Free

Tip $ 1.00
Total $21.00

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++

OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEN:


1) Go to auto parts store and write a check for $50.00 for oil, filter,
kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree.
2) Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it
back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: get hot oil on you in process.
12) Clean up mess.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Look for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist off.
16) Beer.
17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Finish oil
change tomorrow.
18) Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20) Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to
gasket surface.
23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26) Discover that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard
along with drain plug.
27) Drink beer.
28) Uncover hole and sift for drain plug.
29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor.
30) Drink beer.
31) Slip with wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
33) Begin cussing fit.
34) Throw wrench.
35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December
(1992)in the left boob.
36) Beer.
37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood
flow.
38) Beer.
39) Beer.
40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
41) Beer.
42) Lower car from jack stands.
43) Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.
44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during
step 23.
45) Beer.
46) Test drive car.
47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
48) Car gets impounded.
49) Make bail.
50) Get car from impound yard.

Money spent:
Parts $ 50.00
DUI $2500.00
Impound fee $ 75.00
Bail $1500.00
Beer $ 25.00
Total-- $4150.00
stroked355coupe is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-26-2003, 11:50 AM
The Big Matt
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
you forgot, get some booger
post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-26-2003, 03:30 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 201
i did dang !!!!!
stroked355coupe is offline  
 
post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-01-2003, 05:53 PM
ren
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 32
oil change

sounds about right, 'cept maybe without all that beer and a dui
ren is offline  
post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-06-2003, 02:54 AM
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 314
,,,

$16,600 a year- more beer please!!!
BLWN86 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome