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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-02-2003, 10:06 AM Thread Starter
Blue5spd's a titty baby
 
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If men wrote advice columns

Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.

A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that_there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing-_your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you_closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates_involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him_be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just_perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think_about it.

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight, cures headaches and stomach_aches and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know_this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally_selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank_him by performing it twice and day; then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged._The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men._A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can_foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can_rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day_or two (it's a great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how_emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The_best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend_to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess_with it, do it on your own time or ask your best friend to help. You_may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to_your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform_oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek_sensitivity training. Foreplay, to a man, is very stressful and time_consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand, with no_pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love_your man as much as you should. He should never have to work to get_you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to_him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.

Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep_without giving me one.

A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to_cook him a nice meal.
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-23-2003, 06:04 PM
Lifer
 
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Those are funny!
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-25-2003, 06:37 AM
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Sounds like great advice to me!
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-30-2003, 03:24 AM
in memory of "lil' Roy"
 
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now that's what i'm talkin' bout! LOL!!!!

winner of 5 out of 9 at the 2007 spring cruise!
winner of 2 out of 4 at Redline 7/21/07
winner of 4 out of 5 at the 10/21/07 fall cruise!
2009 spring cruise- won 1 out of 2 races!!!!!!
2010 spring cruise- 4 wins 2 losses but only raced 1 guy on my list and as usual couldn't find the others!!!!

RIP Roy Sebastion Fraga "lil' Roy" born december 7th 2010 gone back to heaven december 7th 2010 you will always be in our hearts and thoughts my special little grandson.
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-30-2003, 06:44 AM
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LOL! Sounds good
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-06-2003, 02:58 AM
 
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HELL YES!!
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-06-2003, 06:41 PM
Jonsie98
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Sounds just like a man
post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-07-2003, 01:02 PM
At least it sounds fast
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by OMEGA DOOM
now that's what i'm talkin' bout! LOL!!!!
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-07-2003, 02:23 PM
Lifer
 
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I'd kill for a nice meal about now.
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-07-2003, 02:30 PM
 
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That is great!! Where do i send my wife to get help from this guy at?
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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-08-2003, 11:10 AM
 
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job well done
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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-08-2003, 11:38 AM
 
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rock on
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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-08-2003, 07:45 PM
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Its like dear Abby, Man Show style.
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